Yes. It is true.

Allow me to explain.  We recently received our census paperwork in the mail.  Mr. Census  is very interested in my race.  So are a lot of other people.


You see, I have olive skin.  Well, it is more of a creamy cinnamon (so says me), but most people call it "olive." When you are not exactly white people often ask "what are you?"

Ummm? A liberal. Agnostic. Brilliant.Ha!

I know what they are asking.  Is it rude to ask? Maybe. I don't think I would ever ask someone such an awkward question, but that is just me.  Other people do it all the time.

I always just start with the obvious answer.  Why I am Irish.  Hello-- my last name is (was)Kelley.



But wait, I have further proof of my leprechaun heritage other than just my maiden name.  My ears are a little deformed weird at the top. I have heard that this is considered lucky in the Isle of Green.

But that is not what they want to know.  What they want to know is ---where did you get that pigmentation?

I am sort of not sure.

My mom's ancestors were conquistadors.For real. In the 16th century, they left various countries such as Spain, Portugal and Greece and sought to conquer the New World (modern day SouthwesternUS) via Mexico City.

What were they seeking? Gold, silver, the fountain of youth?  No,  they proudly and bravely sought the title of "hidalgo"  which would make them noblemen. How very Don Quixote of them (or "quixotic" as I learned in college). Well,  at least they were adventurous.

That was a long, long time ago.   When they made it to New Mexico, the Native Americans were there.  According to old census records, some of my mom's ancestors lived on  "Indian" reservations.  AHA!  I am Native American right??

Does that make me entitled to start my own casino?



Um, apparently not. You see,  I am not pure enough for these snobby tribes.  I need to be at least 1/2 pure Native American to join up and start getting my casino cash.  I get punished because my ancestors were not too good to breed with their oppressors.  Not fair.

Which lead me to the census question that has me troubled:

Is person of Hispanic, Latino  or Spanish origin?

Possible answers are as follows:

No.                               
 Well that's not my answer.

Yes, Mexican American              
 My Irish dad does live in Cozumel, but that is not right either.

Yes, Puerto Rican
  I am not from New York so I know that is not the right answer.


Yes, Cuban
 Ahh Havana looks so pretty. But no.

Yes, another Hispanic, Latino or Spanish origin-- Print origin. For example, Argentinean, Colombian, Spaniard, etc. _____________________________________.

Can I write "New Mexican"  or is that not good enough. Should I go back to 1598 and list "Spaniard?"

I am so confused.

Oh wait here is a "Native American" option.

Sweet!  Wait. hold up. They want to know what tribe I belong to. Is there room to explain how they won't let me join?

I think I will print a copy of this post with a note that I am just me.  A little Irish and a little Hispanic.  Your garden variety Green Bean.