I got up this morning and started my usual check my e-mail, drink some coffee, and read the news (and by "news," I mean "TMZ" and "Newser") routine. I am scanning the headlines and I see this hard-hitting report.



Lindsay Lohan was not drinking alcohol when her SCRAM bracelet went off last week. I know, right? Shocking. She cleared a pee test. What the? I honestly thought BP would plug up the gusher in the gulf before I read about Lindsay's night of sobriety. This news has rattled me so much that I, myself, needed a shot of whiskey in my coffee. Oh, and do you follow her on Twitter? I know it is pathetic, but I do. She is crazy. I do like me some crazy. Only crazy at a distance, mind you. Not actually In My Life crazy. Thank Xenu** that my sister moved back to Texas. Oh wait, I digress.


** since it is opposite day, I thought I would be a Scientologist. For those that don't know, Xenu is the God  that started all the inter-galactic nonsense the Scientologists pretend have to deal with . You know I love cults and this is my chance to be in one for a day without having to be mean to my mom for the rest of my life.



Well if that was not enough of a shock to my system (having one of those moments where your core beliefs are shaken), something much more monumental happened. Then next headline almost made me faint. Holy crap!!!!!! It has happened. It must be a signal of the end of days.  Sarah Palin has actually said something that I totally agree with.   Help me Xenu.**  Save me from myself!





Sarah Palin has stated that she does not think that smoking weed is a big deal.  Did I read that right? Girl has some sense after all. Yeah for Sarah! Now don't go around thinking that I am a pot-head. I can't stand smoking weed. If you think I am paranoid right now, just give me a few puffs of mary-jane and I curl up in the fetal waiting for Xenu to take me away. It is not pretty. But I live in Colorado and it is sooooo not a big deal around here (oh yeah it is legal, duh).  Plus,  I live in the mountains where everyone and their grandma smokes weed and I think it is a pretty mellow and cool place to live.  I think I hear the phrase "it's all good" about 20 times a day. So to me, it is all good.

That is it for opposite day. I have got to go do some work. Boo. I was not planning on posting this morning, but I felt compelled.

Oh, and in honor of Sarah Palin not making me want to puke today, here is a picture of me with her hairdo photoshopped on my head.