I was at the good old FIRC a few months ago and they had a pile of magazines for free. One magazine was Metropolitan Home May 2009. The homes featured were pretty much amazing and the polar opposite of my "rustic" home.

While perusing the magazine, I came upon this picture of a bathroom that belonged to the featured architects/homeowners' sons.

For some reason the picture sent a chill through my body. I had no idea why. I just stared at it for a while but couldn't figure out why I had that reaction to the photograph.

Flash forward to yesterday. I am sitting on my porch looking through the magazine again and when I came across the picture, it hit me. I know where I had seen the bathroom before.

Do you remember the movie THE SHINING? Holy crap. Remember this scene?





Apparently, turning to horror movies for bathroom design inspiration is common. While searching google images to find the Shining bathroom, I found this picture.



Damn I am hot! I need to find my clone so I can marry her.

Well what do I know? All white people pretty much look alike to me. Except for Matt. I can usually pick him out in a crowd. Well, unless I have had a few cocktails and then I might end up walking up to any random blue-eyed guy between the age of 30-60 and demanding that he buy me chicken wings and a chardonnay. Not that that has ever happened. I am just saying it could.

Earlier today:

We almost hit a bear on the highway. No lie. We both saw him run out of the woods and get right to the side of the road and at the very last second, he decides not to cross. Whew. That could have been ugly. I usually have an annual bear spotting in my yard (like this fellow that visited last May) but have never seen one on the road.

I worry about hitting deer, but I never think of a bear running onto the highway.


Later today:

We drove past this:



Matt:   Do you know what it means when the cows are lying down in the middle of the day?

Me:   No.


Matt:   That it is going to rain.



Me:   Do you think the orange cow feels bad that she is the only cow that is not black?

Matt:   She is the only cow that does not know that she is not black.
 
Me:  Good point.

You know I work from home and rarely have to leave Loriville, right? Well duty called and I had to venture over to the next county for a mediation. What does that mean? It means that I had to get out of my "yoga" gear and put on a dress and some lipgloss.

Destination? Park County. Yes, the very South Park that you know and love.


It is just one mountain pass away-- but the pass is literally one switchback after the other all the way. On my way home I was behind Grampy and Granny Pokeyass, who were driving about 6 miles an hour.

I spot a herd of deer ahead and since I am driving so dang slow,  I get my camera out of my purse (which was sitting right next to me. I did not leave my seat I promise).















When I got home, I put on some regular clothes and Matt and I went to try out a Mexican restaurant we had never been to. They had the biggest freakin plates that I had ever seen. This is not an optical illusion.


PS. The mediation was no bueno. Nothing resolved.

to make a very important announcement to a few select ASSHOLES.

To my regular peeps, I am sorry about this weird post. I like to keep my blog all about fun and (hopefully) humor sprinkled with my amateur photojournalism shot with my $88 WalMart camera.

I started blogging as sort of an escape. From what? My life is all sunshine and flowers, right?

Well, here is the weird/uncomfortable/horrific/disturbing part.

I have to testify in court to keep a convicted aggravated child molester in prison. What a joy! This post is for his friends and family and attorneys because I know they read my blog. Yes, asswipes,  I am talking directly to you. Life lesson: when you suggest to a loud mouth girl that she should shut up, she usually gets louder.

Back to the pervert. Certain people will do anything to keep me away and will use whatever tactics their money can buy to help this sick ass disgusting excuse for a human get out of prison. Why, why, why? The pervert in question, a confessed and convicted molester, is a former family member who molested me as well. Yes, he is a freak from hell. Trust me, I am just one of many, many, many victims. You see, he is an equal opportunity molester, young/old, male/female, relative/stranger, it does not really matter. He just likes victims.

So in the interest of refusing to be a victim, I  want to send a message to those who are twisted enough to try and seek relief for a CONFESSED  AGGRAVATED CHILD MOLESTER. I am not intimidated and I will testify. See you in court assholes.


I can't stand his fug, so he is distorted.

At this moment he is sitting in Dallas County Jail awaiting his hearing. He was transported there in February. The last time he was in County (when he was initially arrested) he refused to wear clothes. Why? So they would put him in solitary. I wonder if he pulled the no clothes trick again?

Here is a link for more information on him and his crimes.

http://www.dallascounty.org/jaillookup/defendant_detail.do?recno=C600EC95-019B-8FC1-C6E8-FED08049BC76&bookinNumber=10011340&bookinDate=1265924220000&dob=1959-10-01&lastName=GARDNER&firstName=SCOTT&sex=Male&race=White

He is currently serving a 24 year sentence for 2 counts of aggravated sexual assault on a child (this was not for his crimes against me)  in the State of Texas. He confessed. He did not think he would get such a lengthy sentence (uh, what?You are in Texas dumb ass). Mom and Dad of the convicted, pedophile, child molester, creep don't think it is fair.  BOO HOO! They filed an appeal.  They lost. They filed a Writ of Habeas Corpus. And here we sit, 6 years later.  No regard for the victims. Unlikely chance of getting out, but the show must go on. The other distressing part is that his attorneys have reset this hearing numerous times over the years. Just when you think you are going to have to go to court, it is rescheduled. This has been going on for 4 years! Who knows if the hearing will happen in July or if it will be pushed back yet again.

Why do I have to testify? Well even though he signed a confession and had a high priced well known criminal defense attorney and admitted his crimes in open court, he thinks that the state should set him free with no record. WHAT? Crazy all right.  The victims have partially recanted. He now claims he falsely confessed. Which is it???  Lie much? Here is the problem for him (aside from a confession). I know things, very bad things. So now I get the fun task of testifying against his new revised story.

Prior to being incarcerated, the child molester was president of his family's business,  Savage Precision Fabrication. Below is the caption that was under his picture when he was President of Savage Precision Fabrication (from their cached webpage. The internets don't forget jerks).




Okay all you pedophile supporters, this one is for you. You can stop reading my blog now. Go back to wasting your time and your life.  Are you near a cliff? Go ahead and jump please. Got a rope? Why not put it to good use? Of course, I am not speaking to his victims. To those, I wish well.

Oh, and comment moderation is on.

I will return to my regularly scheduled programming soon : ) It will be all roses and sunshine. I promise!

I am linking to a new group I found of over 40 bloggers. I did not think I would join that age group for at least 60 years, but here I am (I was never good at math).

I had a long and exhausting weekend, especially Saturday. Luckily for moi, Matt brings me coffee in bed every single morning. Yes, I am serious. It is divine.

Anyway, on Sunday after I lounged in bed in the sunspot and purred like a spoiled little kitten and sipped my coffee like a divine little princess, I headed downstairs for a refill. I filled my mug to the brim. Wait. What is that smell? Holy crap. I filled my mug with Shiraz! No lie. I actually poured it all the way to the top before I noticed. Hee hee.  Matt did not think it was half as funny as I did. Of course her highness did not have her camera, so here is a re-enactment. Oh,  and I may or may not have had a few sips this morning (just since the bottle was out for the photo shoot).

Well, all of that nonsense got me thinking about this new British product I saw the other day that is getting a lot of press, both bad and good.




In my opinion, the Brits should stick to what they know. When I think "British," I think alcohol consumption, not oil exploration. Am I right?

I also got to thinking (can you see the smoke?) about combining my accidental Shiraz coffee idea with the British travel wine glasses.

I know it has been a while since I have posted about my thrift store treasures. But that does not mean I haven't been accumulating more junk to torture the person who has to clear out my house when I kick the bucket.  Do you ever go to estate sales and think to yourself  what in the world was this lady thinking-- I can't believe all this junk!  Well, I am doing my future estate sale shoppers a favor by documenting exactly what this twisted little head was thinking.  

Matt wants to move this door as part of a remodel of this room, etc., and so I had left the 70's globe fixture in place for 6 years. I know lights are cheap, but I kept thinking we were going to rip out this space so what is the point? Anywho, when I found this light for $4,  I made the investment. Not perfect --but a heck of a lot better (sorry no before pic).

I got up this morning and started my usual check my e-mail, drink some coffee, and read the news (and by "news," I mean "TMZ" and "Newser") routine. I am scanning the headlines and I see this hard-hitting report.



Lindsay Lohan was not drinking alcohol when her SCRAM bracelet went off last week. I know, right? Shocking. She cleared a pee test. What the? I honestly thought BP would plug up the gusher in the gulf before I read about Lindsay's night of sobriety. This news has rattled me so much that I, myself, needed a shot of whiskey in my coffee. Oh, and do you follow her on Twitter? I know it is pathetic, but I do. She is crazy. I do like me some crazy. Only crazy at a distance, mind you. Not actually In My Life crazy. Thank Xenu** that my sister moved back to Texas. Oh wait, I digress.


** since it is opposite day, I thought I would be a Scientologist. For those that don't know, Xenu is the God  that started all the inter-galactic nonsense the Scientologists pretend have to deal with . You know I love cults and this is my chance to be in one for a day without having to be mean to my mom for the rest of my life.



Well if that was not enough of a shock to my system (having one of those moments where your core beliefs are shaken), something much more monumental happened. Then next headline almost made me faint. Holy crap!!!!!! It has happened. It must be a signal of the end of days.  Sarah Palin has actually said something that I totally agree with.   Help me Xenu.**  Save me from myself!





Sarah Palin has stated that she does not think that smoking weed is a big deal.  Did I read that right? Girl has some sense after all. Yeah for Sarah! Now don't go around thinking that I am a pot-head. I can't stand smoking weed. If you think I am paranoid right now, just give me a few puffs of mary-jane and I curl up in the fetal waiting for Xenu to take me away. It is not pretty. But I live in Colorado and it is sooooo not a big deal around here (oh yeah it is legal, duh).  Plus,  I live in the mountains where everyone and their grandma smokes weed and I think it is a pretty mellow and cool place to live.  I think I hear the phrase "it's all good" about 20 times a day. So to me, it is all good.

That is it for opposite day. I have got to go do some work. Boo. I was not planning on posting this morning, but I felt compelled.

Oh, and in honor of Sarah Palin not making me want to puke today, here is a picture of me with her hairdo photoshopped on my head.