Lex Loci Lori

All things Hollywood

2011-11-01T13:25:00.001-06:00

I always grow my hair out long and then when it gets to about the middle of my back, I can't stand it and I chop it off. Then the cycle starts over. So anyway, I am at that point.

Straight hair

hot rolled (hello 1982)

So anyway I decided that I would try out some styles online.

This is Selena Gomez's hairdo on my head.

(yes I know she is 16 years old).

I added some violet contacts.

Call me "Elizabeth and haha this does kinda remind of a "Dynasty" do.

Take that Bieber.

Zooey Deschanel's hair.

I am def. not hip enough.

Did you hear her sing the national anthem during the world series?

She looked cute and actually sang the song the way it is written.

refreshing.

Take that Aguillera.

and because I could not resist.

Me in Snooki hair.

now here is where I would insert a funny jersey shore catchphrase.

but I haven't actually seen that stupid show . . .

However, I have found myself addicted to The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills.

Am I the only one?

Did anyone watch last night?

Which did you find more disturbing?

Kim's secret boyfriend?

or 42 year old Kim's need to show off by doing the splits.

At an engagement party.

on a table.

The Hoard, A Board and a Fjord

2011-09-12T11:52:00.002-06:00

1. The Hoard

Have you heard of the minimalist movement to live with just 100 possessions?

Stupid, I know.

But it got me thinking that I could probably shed 100 possessions.

Then I thought I may as well try to get rid of 500 things.

At least it is a start.

I gathered up close to 200 things this week and donated them to the FIRC.

Hoard.

Meet Purge.

Once I reach 500, I vow not to bring anything home without getting rid of something.

The Hoard can happen to anyone. It freaks me out.

2. A Board

A very, very. very large on.

Some people would call it a beam.

It was laying on the side of our house.

Matt put it up in place of our wimpy beam.

And while he was at it, I talked him into building some shelves with some other boards laying around the side of the house (for five years!).

Hoard.

Meet upcycle.

This is the old skinny beam (7 years ago).

3. A FJORD

Okay, not really.

More of an inlet.

But it rhymed.

On Labor Day, we went out on the lake.

It has been cold ever since. WTF?

I am not ready for cold.

Until next time,

I am too sexy for my blog (no way I'm disco dancin)

2011-09-01T13:17:00.000-06:00

or maybe just too lazy for my blog.

1. Chase moved to Los Angeles. What up with that?

I miss my ~~chef~~ son.

BTW have you ever noticed that people from LA never say "LA," they always say "Los Angeles?" I guess that is so we don't mistakenly think they live in Louisiana or somethin. As long as he does not start saying THE I-70 or THE I-25. That bugs the royal shit out of me that people from California put "the" before the freeway number.

2.My Droid has gone crazy on voice recognition.

I said something like "I know this f---ing phone sucks."

WHAT IN THE ANNE HECHE HELL IS THAT ALL ABOUT???????

HOW DO I FIX THIS???

I tried switching it from default English (US) to default English (Canada). You would think that would fix it, EH? It did not.

And LOL to the Canadian English.

I wish there was a Mexican English option.

That is all the sexiness I care to share today.

Mocha Chocolata Ya Ya

2011-07-26T10:25:00.001-06:00

So I am still trying to be on a diet and I actually think me clothes are a bit looser (I just typed that with a cockney accent mate)

My thought is that the SB Diet just wears you down so you just give up on eating all together. Do I want another boiled egg or string cheese? Hell no. I will just starve.

There is one little glimmer of happiness though. I have created a masterpiece that I love, love, love.

So what I do is I heat a small amount of water and then take two teaspoons of this:


(mine does not have hieroglyphics on the jar; btw)

then, I add two tablespoons of this

then I fill the rest of the cup with ice cubes.

then I take a large glass and fill it with ice and add my cold coffee mixture over it and then top it off with this.

and then, I dollop on this

BTW do you ever "dollop" anything but cream?

IT IS DELICIOUS!!

I was going to take a picture this morning, but I forgot until this is what I had

Oh, and two weeks ago I tried to take some "before" pictures with my cell phone.

This was the result.

this is cracking me up here, because my arms look fat and my middle parts look ok, which is the opposite in real life.

ok, this is a more accurate portrayal of me two weeks ago.

That is all.

South (son of a) Beach Diet

2011-07-13T13:06:00.001-06:00

Okay so I am sitting in a bar association committee meeting right now (on conference call) and thought maybe I could blog. I have been pretty much over blogging but I like keeping a journal of what is going on. Besides-- we are discussing Alec Baldwin and domestic violence in our meeting(fo real).

So a few years ago I was reading the People Magazine New Year's edition-- you know the "I LOST HALF MY SIZE" issue that they put out when they have ran out cover stories about the Angelina Jolie/Jennifer Aniston/Brad Pitt love triangle.

Anyway, I read about the South Beach diet and decided to try it out. I lost 15 pounds and went from a size 8 to size 4 in about 6 weeks (and, yes, I do get most of my health and beauty advice from People magazine). Fast forward a few years-- and I have a pretty super sized muffin on top of my "skinny" size 8 jeans. damn-it.

I went to Mexico in April and spent the whole month prior to my trip running on the damn treadmill (getting up to 4 miles a day) and I think I may have lost only like 4 pounds. Frustrating! I hate my 42 year old worn out metabolism.

Since I don't have 14 hours a day to work out like this ho,

(That is what she claims.)

I thought I would try that damn south beach diet again this week. So that is what I did on Monday.

If I can remember right, the 3rd day is the hardest-- then your cravings for refined carbs are supposed to diminish after that point. It had damn well better. I just ate about 914 pounds of vegetables dipped in hummus and what I really want to do right this second is eat a can or two of Pringles and run someone over with a truck or smoke a cigarette and kick a baby. One or the other. Crap.

Wish me luck Chuck.

My anniversary is coming up at the end of August and I want to be somewhere in a bathing suit.

WHAT UP?

2011-07-07T14:15:00.000-06:00

I love summer.

The weather in the mountains is perfect.

"Family" photo June 26, 2011

BBQ Fest Volunteers June 18, 2011

Reckless Kelly Concert June 26


Picnic on Lake Dillon, July 1, 2011

Frisco 4th of July parade. Snow is better than candy on a hot day.

Let's look back to April, shall we?

I am so happy and warm right now.

It is too nice to sit inside and blog.

THE END.

Guess Who Flew the Nest.

2011-06-16T11:10:00.001-06:00

No.

Not this guy.

Chase is still around.

(My nest must be well feathered).

I am talking about the little quartet that hatched exactly two weeks ago.

The baby robins were doing some pretty awkward flying off the porch this morning.

This one sat there for about 5 minutes before mustering the courage to sail away.

(Stupid Picasa won't load my other pictures for some dumb reason).

Now that they are getting big, the baby robins crap all over my porch and I had to move my chairs and lay newspaper down.

Gross.

But I think they are really close to leaving my home and exploring the big world! I feel so proud (HA! of course I have not done a damn thing other than observe their little beginnings. Matt on the other hand took time out every day to dig up a few worms to help mama robin out).

PS: Did I ever tell you that Chase contracted viral meningitis from a bird crapping on his head while we were vacationing in Mexico?

True story.

PPS: Is this not the cutest picture of Murphy?

Robin

2011-06-06T13:41:00.001-06:00

I call my house the "tree house" because it looks like a tree house and because the main level is up in the tree tops and we do don't have any curtains because no one can see in and anyway just because.

So this what we discovered a few weeks ago.

This is right outside our front door on top of the patio light.

And while you would think that a soon-to-be mama robin building a nest on your front porch would be a pretty sure sign that spring had arrived-- just two days after I took that picture, I awoke to this nonsense.

I took this shot from my phone while lying in bed on Saturday May 21, 2011. Ugh. I was so worried about soon-to-be mama robin.

She camped out.

And she guarded her new little dwelling.

And, the next week I discovered this . . .

And finally, on June 2, 2011 (Matt's birthday btw), we came home to this. I knew something was up when I saw mama sitting on her nest backwards.

They don't have feathers quite yet, but they made it. hooray! Mama and Papa Robin take turns feeding their babies regurgitated worms all day long.

It is so fun to watch : )

Matt helped them out on Saturday by leaving a small container of night crawlers left over from our fishing trip in front of the nest. (haha dork)

Maybe I can get some picture of the four little ones as they learn to fly. Momma Robin is pretty accustomed our routines (and our three dogs) and she doesn't even fly away when we go in and out anymore.

That is all I have to report from the treehouse.

Guess who has been having more fun than Kate Middleton and Barack Obama combined?

2011-05-03T21:02:00.001-06:00

Not that I am complaining, but it has been snowing for the past few days and weeks and months here in the Rocky Mountains.

Luckily, for what is left of my sanity, last week at this exact time I was on a boat in the Caribbean sea, ~~deep sea fishing~~ drinking beer.

Incidentally, I brought my favorite ~~deep sea fishing~~ beer drinking buddy with me.

This guy.

I got to spend every waking and sleeping moment with Matt for an entire week! In the heat!!!

The view was stunning.

The pace was slow.

The beer was plentiful.

(ohyeswedid!!)

The beaches were sandy.

The cars were colorful.

The palms were fruity.

The sunsets were sultry.

And, of course, the nuts were hot!

AND . . .

THE MOST EXCITING PART?

The sleeves, pants and socks were missing.

**************************************************

My dad happens to live on this tiny island of Cozumel far, far, far from the bitter cold! Convenient, I tell you.

Matt and my Dad

We got to visit him and his wife, Alma, and pretty much live like royalty for a week. I know it is going to sound like bragging if I tell you that they own a sports bar with the best food on the whole entire island. But I am just stating the facts.

The King and Queen.

The Duchess and Duke.

Incidentally, this is the first year that we were not called "honeymooners" by the street vendors. Ha! I guess we are getting old.

(The Duke was referred to as Mr. Whiskers though).

ADIOS AMIGOS

Getting Back to my Roots

2011-04-12T09:27:00.001-06:00

Ever since I started getting gray hair-- I hit the bottle. That is to say I went to WalMart or Target or City Market and bought whatever cheap-ola hair dye crap they had. French Roast one month, Brazilian Brown the next. My mom is always telling me that as you get older, you want to go lighter or else you look more wrinkled.

Anyway, you may remember that my cute niece Mia is in beauty school. Well this weekend she was in town and she cut and colored my hair (one benefit to being too lazy to get your hair did is that it gets really long and as it stands it is halfway down my back. Never mind what my mom says about middle aged ladies with long hair).

Mia gave me the lecture on buying product at the grocery store and told me that my hair is about 50 different colors from top to bottom. So she took me back close to what is probably my natural color (that is my original natural color minus the gray).

I kind of love it this dark. Sorry mom.

PS: Red lipstick is forever in style in my book : )

March came in like a Lion-- and so did April

2011-04-04T11:06:00.001-06:00

I thought I better use it or lose it.

I almost forgot how to even log into my blog.

Where have I been? Just doing stuff. Mostly working. That is all. Nothing earth shattering. Work and (of late) working out. It is T minus 3 weeks until I am on the sunny shores of Cozumel. My body is better suited to hiding under massive coats and strategically placed scarves. Ha!

Oh-- I just endured a Mr. Toad's Wild Ride of a weekend.

Spring time in the Rockies. I tell ya.

Saturday was gorgeous. Matt and I got up early and went and had blood drawn at the 9 NEWS Health Fair at the high school. Why? Because that is what middle aged people do. If you are a male and middle aged you also get your blood checked for prostrate issues. Fun.

On the way home -- we were lucky enough to run into a garage sale. First of the season. Woohoo. What did I score?? A brand spanking new Schwinn cruiser-- perfect for riding around the lake. I did not take a pic-- but this is what it looks like:

$5 is what I paid.

I also got a (faux?) Coach purse in perfect condition for $1. I am really off to a good start this season! I need to make out a garage sale list for the summer. I really want to find a Le Creuset Dutch oven for under $20.

Preferably one like this orange one.


But I will take any color I find.

So anyway, moving on to Sunday. Matt and I were volunteering at a charity walk for the SANE (sexual assault nurse examiner) Program at our hospital. BONE CHILLING, ICE IN YO FACE COLD does not even begin to describe the longest mile and a half I have ever walked.

Here are a couple of pics that I managed to take between complaints:

Oh and this is really Colorado and not Mt. Everest. Promise.

BTW-- there was a delicious catered lunch once we got to the hospital. PS: I wanted to cry on my way there, but there was a four year old walking right next to me the entire way who did not complain for one second. She thought it was a great adventure. Little mountain girl! .

check out the entertainment. HA!

Anway, good thing I decided that the event called for a an extra dose of mascara. What was I thinking???

Are you thinking what I am? I really need to do something about that frown wrinkle right? I am on it. I am getting botox on that this week. It has finally come to this. I am not even lying and I don't care who knows.

Things that make my heart warm on a snowy snowy day

2011-01-22T10:38:00.001-07:00

Hello Blogaritaville.

Contrary to popular belief (and probable hope by a few individuals), I am not dead.

My laptop has a nasty virus and other crap, but I will not tell you all about my problems.

Instead, I would like to share some things that make me love life this 42nd January of mine.

1. My Christmas cactus is going to bloom after all this winter. Hip hip hooray!

2. Chase's awesome Asian dishes.
.

Sure we do not get to eat until around 9 when he cooks, but it is worth the wait. trust me.

3. Sweet messages from my sweet husband.

4. My heart wreath.

5. My heart dishes.

6. This bundle of ridiculous love.

(next to my new cow pillow I bought at the FIRC for 75 cents. love that too).

7. My favorite yoga dog, demonstrating the downward dog.

Don't those Bilbo Baggin's feet crack you up?

I am sorry, but there is not a cuter thing on this planet.

Yes, even cuter than your kid.

Seriously. Look at this mug.

8. This cute oil painting I bought for $3 at the ARC.

So what if it is just fancy-ing up a shoe shelf?

9. Not to brag, but I bought this brand new Guess purse for $4 at the ARC as well.

10. AND for the BIG HURRAH! The merci beau coup de gras (just made that up) . . .

My new Kenneth Cole boots bought in an actual store that did not have the word "thrift" on the sign.

Alert the media, I bought something NOT PREVIOUSLY OWNED people.

Here is another angle.

AND ONE MORE!!

THE END!

Deep Thoughts: Zamboni Edition

2011-01-07T15:30:00.002-07:00

Some things I would like to discuss with you today:

1. Have you seen the Wonderful Whites of West Virginia? It is a documentary. It is disturbing. It is entertaining. It is weird. It is pathetic. It is sad. It is real. It is on Netflix.

I had to watch it twice. (did I already blog about this?)

2. I have new undertakings in my life and so that means less blog reading and less blog writing. Don't hate me.

3. I am getting a new cell phone with a data package and am joining the world of annoying people that check their emails and google stuff during dinner. Does anybody have Verizon? What data friendly phone should I get (and NO I am not paying for a new I phone which is coming out in a few weeks)?

4. I really want to go out for happy hour at the Mexican rest. down the road. Half off nachos sound really good to me. Why can't it be time for that yet?

5. Would it be super lame if I bought Just Dance 2 for Wii if I will be dancing by myself?

We played it at Christmas and it was fun.

Enjoy a picture of Chase and his cousin Mia getting their groove on. Won't you?

6. I miss Matt.

He has been spending time away.

Away?

Doing what?

Getting his Zamboni on. That is what.

This is the largest maintained outdoor ice arena in N. America. 5 acres!

PS: Did I ever mention that my husband is adorable : )

New Years Revolution

2011-01-02T21:51:00.001-07:00

Dear Blog,

Happy 2011! Did you miss me? No? Not even a little?

So . . . . there I sat on the second day of 2011 needing to get my bloated self to bed when I stumble upon something blog worthy (or at least worthy of this little blog).

WWI pictures.

WTF people?

Is it just me or are Americans waaayyyy better looking than Europeans?

Or is it just that the human race has beome collectively cuter in the last 100 years?

So here is how my mind works:

Try to find the guy that I may have wanted to date if I lived in, say, Germany in 1914.

(you can clicky on the pic for a bigger shot)

The only one that I thought was half-way decent above may have also starred as the villain in the Back-to the -Future trilogy. Or something like that. I am not sure what country these mutants are from??? Not a hottie in the bunch.

I picked the guy above because he kind of reminds me of Magnum PI or Warren Harding. One of those.

I think these guys above are French. Don't they look sassy? I am going with 1 because he is bucking the trend and not sporting a moustache. Number 2 came in second (obviously).

These German soldiers all remind me of Hitler, so I think I would have to decline them all. The one in the back there ain't too bad though.

#1 is kinda cute-- I suspect that is why he got to sit in the middle. Gotta give 2 props for the handlebar tho. Work it! oh and on closer inspection, I may want to go curtain shopping with that guy on the front row far left. lol.

Hope your 2011 is amusing you thus far!

Passport to Winter

2010-12-19T14:41:00.008-07:00

has it really been a whole week?

I have had a crazy busy week with work and holiday stuff.

Anywayzzzzz, last week I decided to clean out the junk drawer in my closet room.

(btw I don't know why this post is centered but I am going with it.)

I thought I would share a recently recovered/discovered junk item from my clean out in my next few posts.

First up:

I found our passport photos from a few years ago. Apparently they mail the pictures back to you along with your passport.

I really like my hair that long. I chopped it off last December but I am growing it out again. When I am really old I plan on having waist length hair and wearing it in a big ol bun right on the top of my head. My great-grandmother Janie Moore wore her hair like that. She rocked it. I need to find a picture of her hair. Great grannies these days all seem to have short hair. Not my style.

I also found Chase's passport pic. Chase is also known as El Rey. That means "the King" in Espanol. That is what you call a kid who is an only child (but not to their face). His other Spanish nickname is cacahaute (said CA ca watt A) which means "peanut"-- because he is my little baby.

Just realized that he is exactly half my age. I am 42 and he is 21 so not exactly a baby. PS: I will spare you Matt's ~~mugshot~~ passport photo.

***********************************************

In other news, holy crap! We have a TON of snow. Here is the BREAKING NEWS of the day. Chase went snowshoeing with me this morning. He never wants to go with me. Matt had to work today so I was glad to have someone along to experience the beauty with me. YAY Chase!

In addition to two of our dogs, we took my brother's malamute Bear.

"hey chase, get out of my way"

"come on mom. hurry it up."

It was so peaceful. Can you believe this is right out my door? Feeling lucky today. Ask me again in May (when it will still be snowing). I am sure my tune will change by then : )

I don't think Chase was hating plowing the driveway. What do you think?

PS: Is anyone watching the Dew Tour right now? It is in my town. Turn it on and you can see how much snow we are getting.

Cheerio!

Sunday round these parts

2010-12-12T12:02:00.001-07:00

Another weekend is winding down. I have a mofo of a stomach ache. When was the last time you had one of those? Too many tamales yesterday? I don't know? Masa gut sounds possible to me.

Matt and the big dogs went for a cross country ski this morning. Murphy was POed about that. His favorite thing in the whole entire world (besides getting belly kisses from his mama) is going on a walk. But unfortunately, his precious little dog self was bred to live south of the border not on tundra lane. Poor baby!


"ya'll suck"

(he is a Texas native. the other dogs say "you guys")

When they got back Murphy barked at Pistol and chased him around the house just to let him know that it wasn't fair. I did not chase Matt. But I did bark at him ; )

That is all.

Better watch out

2010-12-07T13:26:00.002-07:00

It is a holiday miracle.

I actually have a present wrapped and under the tree and Christmas is still over 2 weeks away.

I am normally a Christmas eve shopper/wrapper/ . . . "ah crap here it is in the sack cause I ran out of time" kind of girl.

Right about now I am so proud of myself. I even bought the gift on Ebay. Go Lori!

BTW, do you think that my Santa wrapping paper is a little scary or is it just me? (Kind of looks like a Santa mug shot). This past summer I went to a garage sale and this family was moving to Florida and they were selling everything including all their wrapping paper/bows/gift boxes/tags etc. and a sweet carrying case for $3. Of course, I bought it. Unfortunately it appears that the family bought up all the ugly paper in town.

I was planning on taking the whole day off today and going to Denver to go shopping with my mom. Unfortunately we awoke to a snow storm-- so we decided to scrap that idea.

So I am going over to her house and we are going to make tamales instead.

See you in about 3.5 pounds : )

PS: Today is my sweet and awesome mother-in-law's birthday. HAPPY BIRTHDAY JUDY! We love you. Hope you have a great day.

Tom Brady better I hope I am not wearing combat boots if he ever meets me

2010-12-05T13:24:00.002-07:00

Sweet moon boots.

(thanks Napolean)

Seriously. You like? Gottem at the FIRC. I can't believe no one snatched these babies up before me. I have wore them all weekend. They are made in Italy, sheepskin lined and are even more comfy than my Uggs. Plus Matt informed me that Tom Brady is the new Ugg spokeswhore. And if you know me, you know I hate Tom Brady. So I may have to stop wearing my Uggs as a matter of protest. If you see me walking around town in these moon boots and you do not approve, just blame Tom Brady.

Can you believe it is already December 5? That is all kinds of crazy. And another weekend almost over.

This morning started off as usual. The Official Lori Fan Club held its AM meeting on my bed. All members (Murphy and Pistol) were in attendance.

AM AGENDA:

Snuggling. Check

Smooching. Check

Cute name calling. Check and check

Murphy is the President of the Club.

We are not currently accepting new members. Sorry.

After the meeting was adjourned, Matt and I went out for breakfast at the "Cheap-o Depot." That is not the real name but pretty much everyone and everything has a nickname in our casa. Three weeks into his stay, Pistol has acquired several. (yeah I know I called him Bullet before. We were undecided). Matt says that Pistol has "button eyes" so of course I like to call him "Button Eyed-Joe" except I don't really say it as much as I sing it whilst doing the cotton eye joe (Much to Chase's chagrin).

After breakfast, the fan club meeting was recommenced with a repeat of the earlier agenda. The meeting spot was reconvened in the living room .

Oh, and for those of you who know me in real life. Have no fear. I will be working my combat boots into the footwear rotation.

They make me feel like I could take care of business.

haha to Matt paying zero attention to my footwear fashion show.

Happy Channukah!

2010-12-01T21:57:00.001-07:00

Did I spell that right? Today Chase informs me that he wants to make a Channukah dinner. Why the heck not? I own a menorah. Let's do it. (btw we have a religion free home so don't tell me if this post is not kosher).

About Chase: He really likes to do things all the way. When he was about 3 years old and rode the little horse ride at the grocery store, he did not just sit on the ride. He became a cowboy. Imaginary hats were tipped, imaginary lassos were swung. Yee-haws were exclaimed. It was hilarious. Later in elementary school, he did not just watch a football game. Banners were made and taped to the wall. Pads and helmets were donned. First downs and touchdowns were re-enacted in the living room. Now that he is an adult, he is a very mellow dude. However, every once in a while I see a little glimpse of my Chasey-pooh.

Today was one of those days:

He spent the day cooking our feast. We ate delicious food, listened to Channukah music (which reminded me of Fiddler on the Roof) and just had a really wonderful evening. We may need a TRADITION ( that line was written in my head to the tune of the same name from Fiddler).


Chase not wanting me to take his picture


Santa wondering what the heck we are up to.

delicious

festive presentation


ain't gonna lie. not a big fan of the matzo ball. (and still haven't finished that damn puzzle)


Huge fan of the homemade cheesecake with raspberry-pomegranate sauce!

BRAVO Chase!

(not that he ever reads my blog)

PS: I made some homemade rye for sandwiches tomorrow.

(I love the smell of caraway seeds)

Hope you had a great day.

Holiday Mush

2010-11-29T12:45:00.003-07:00

I had a delicioso 5 days with my smoochie pie Matt. I am sure that he was glad to go back to work today after being my non-stop elf/diet coke fetcher. haha, BTW, I love that man : )

We had a fun Thanksgiving with family and friends and I kept my vow to not get stressed out. Last year half way through dinner I had to run the store for a pack of Lucky's. Well not really but that is what we say around here when we are stressed out to the point of running away. That reminds me, now that we have been married forever, I have taken to saying to Matt "remember that time" without actually referring to a time or event. I just let him go through his memory to find an applicable situation to relate to. I really am lazy.

After the house was empty Friday morning and all the dishes were done, we started putting up the tree. It is a fake. The reason: my house is surrounded by real pines and I don't need a fire hazard in my house. Besides, I like to over accessorize my tree and you can't put up nearly as much crap on a real tree.

If you have a fake tree, I highly recommend this candle.

mandatory cute dog photo (cant help it)

We left the bottom 2 feet off our 12 foot Christmas tree this year. Am I starting to exercise restraint in my life?

I love going through all the sentimental crap.

Matt and I were married by Elvis. This ornament was from our first year together.

Matt's baby shoes.

Chase's baby shoes

Uh, mom, why did you not save my baby shoes? I had them right?

One of Chase's ornaments from childhood (this one is from 1996)

Chase's childhood Christmas books. I swear I get teary eyed taking these things out of boxes every year!

Normally my friend Elizabeth comes over and helps me with my tree. This year she decided to be a meanie and go to California for the winter. Despite this unfortunate turn of events, Matt and I were able to finish in a record 6 hours (though I have to say Elizabeth is never the drill seargent that Matt was. holy dictator batman!)

Just some of the many, many, many decorations I have collected over the years.

last year we had a party and I did not have any mistletoe, so I made this banner instead (lol).

I will spare you the bathroom and other details : )

oh and I finally purged the nativity scene and crosses from my life. I am too damn old to fake my beliefs (but I will always believe in Santa Claus).

In other holiday news, Chase went shopping on Black Friday and brought me home this as an early Christmas present.

YAY FOR ME!!!

So that meant on Saturday and Sunday, I baked with the help of my new toy.

Sunday after we took the dogs for a wintry walk, we did a puzzle (or part of one).

Lori's Diet Log Sunday November 28, 2010

4 cups of coffee

3 ~~small~~ cinnamon rolls !

2 diet cokes

1/2 loaf fresh baked bread !

3 coors lights

Cheers!

BRRRRR!!!

2010-11-24T19:47:00.000-07:00

Hope you have a great Thanksgiving.

Thank God the "Thought Police" aren't real

2010-11-22T22:54:00.001-07:00

They are fake right?

If not:

I killed about 9 people today. 1 or 2 may have been dismembered.

I should be eligible for parole in about 3011.

See you then.

I was invited to a kegger (and other weekend funnies)

2010-11-21T22:59:00.000-07:00

Yes I really was. Our next door neighbor Matt invited me and my Matt to come over for a kegger/bonfire bash he was hosting tonight. Hardee-har-har. Neighbor Matt's wife and two wee ones were out of town so he thought that a keg was in order. Naturally. I can't judge--I would prob. need a keg if I had two little kids at this age. I gotta say I am glad that I had my kid at 20 instead of 40 : ) Oh and we did not go because starting time happened to coincide with Matt's bedtime. ha.

In other important weekend news, in my brilliance I had the idea that I would dress my dogs up in Christmas outfits and send pictures of them out as Christmas cards. PS: Pretty please do not tell me that you are eco-friendly and don't enjoy getting Christmas cards because you love the Earth to pieces. I seriously got an email to that effect last year and thought that the sender was super lame-O. (that email was probably from someone with unphotogenic dogs/kids. Can't remember).

Anyway as you can probably imagine, things at the ole photoshoot did not go quite as I hoped.

Outtakes:

So maybe I will try again tomorrow : )

In other news I thought about making a pumpkin pie as a sort of Thanksgiving dry run. I was out of eggs. How did that happen? So I had to think of something else to make. Okay I didn't "have"to. But whatev.

I have to say if you whip together cream cheese and sweetened condensed milk, you cannot go wrong (esp. if you drizzle with dark chocolate).

PS: the crust was made with Pecan Sandies that I inexplicably had in my freezer. What am I, 87? I guess the cookies were just hanging out waiting for the perfect eggless snowy day to come to my rescue.

Something in the Air

2010-11-20T12:19:00.003-07:00

It is a crisp sunny day with freaky gusts of wind that come out of nowhere.

This morning Matt and I were in the living room drinking coffee and we literally see this branch break off a tree and come flying through the air and land right on the back porch.

Crazy. We Matt had to get it out of the way so the dogs could get to the back yard.

The dogs and I supervised (as usual).

We are supposed to get a big storm starting tonight (anywhere from 5 inches to 4 feet depending upon which channel you watch).

Matt and Chase are putting up our Christmas lights right now while the weather is still warmish. I am so excited : )

I really do hope we get a bunch of snow. If it snows at least 1 foot before Monday, I am putting the tree up. That is all there is to it. Thanksgiving will just have to share with Christmas.

PS: "Bullet" (f/k/a Purcey) is all settled in. The only little glitch is this.

Furry britches is a small price to pay for his sweet love.

the little ones watching the lights go up

Pottery Barn and pretty much everything in my office can suck it

2010-11-19T14:41:00.002-07:00

This has been one of those days.

I went down to my office this morning and the power light on my monitor was flashing at me and the screen was black. Uh-oh. What the hell does that mean? I came back upstairs and got on my laptop and goggled the situation and it pretty much means I am f@#ked.

Bye bye big screen monitor.

A very sad situation in itself. But right before the holidays? Tragic.

Granted, she was about 6 years old which (for the computer breed) is like 94 people years. So to be expected really.

So while that was going on, I did what most girls in mourning do. I perused the Pottery Barn catalog on my laptop. (more on that later)

After that, I decided it was time to get back to business in my office.

The solution? This teeny tiny monitor that I ~~stole~~ borrowed from Matt's desktop setup.

Think he will notice? (snort)

Okay back to the catalog. Looking at that damn PB catalog is what prompted me to write a blog post in the first place.

This little tidbit in particular.

This "ribbon." $16.50. Seriously? That crap is upholstery webbing-- which is super cheap.

In fact I bought a boat load of it at the ARC (where else ?) for $3.00 at half-off Saturday over a year ago.

I have this much left after using tons of it for various projects.

I am not sure why I bought it but I thought it was pretty cool. Flash forward to last Sunday. I am looking at Better Homes and Gardens and I see this wreath.

Holy crap. I can make that. I have all the stuff. Sidenote: I will try a craft if it is on about a 4th grade level. That is all the patience I have.

A first grader could handle this one.

Not too Christmasy. I thought I could bust it out before Thanksgiving. When did webbing become all the rage? That is my question.

Back to my office: I went to scan the BH & G picture above.

I get all set.

Then, my printer/scanner said this to me (and refused to do anything else).

Never mind that it does not require any ink to SCAN!! ARGHH. I tried shaking, pleading, unplugging the damn thing, you name it. I tried it. Nada. So I got on the net (viewing it from my teeny screeny) and typed this in.

Figured it out.

I heart the internet.

Anwho, I got to wondering what other PB hack I could come up with from crap I have laying around the house.

These looked do-able.

Candles? Check. Sheet music? Check. Mod Podge? But of course (told you I like 4th grade crafts).

Then I remembered some pictures that I printed off from this link that would be cuter than sheet music.

The New York Public library has all kinds of free awesome prints online. You can search for anything.

I had printed some deer drawings out a few weeks ago (for what reason I do not know. I just liked them I guess).

I cut them in strips.

Then I got to work.

Simple as pie.

Maybe some kind of centerpiece for Thanksgiving???

If you are on my Christmas list, you may or may not be getting something that involves mod podge and a candle or two.

I also had printed some other pictures out on old dictionary pages.

I had no clue what I was going to do with all these oddball things that I printed (maybe wrap presents or something) but now I am inspired. (And I may have a clue as to why my toner claims it is low)

Moral of the story? Broken electronics inspire crafting. Duh.

Purcey (?) Update

2010-11-15T13:42:00.002-07:00

Just a quick little note to say that our newest family member is already settled in. Yesterday we took a quick walk over to the golf course. Normally, Murphy can't make it past the end of the driveway if it there is snow on the ground but he was not going to be left behind with ~~competition~~ Purcey in the picture. NO WAY. Murphy totally seemed to forget that he does not have a winter coat and only weighs 6 pounds.

The kids in the hood are already sledding!

Matt helped Murph out when his little paws got too cold. I know I need to buy him some little booties.
(Murph not Matt).

I just realized that I all I ever blog about is my dogs. Good thing they are not cats. How boring would that be?

By the way, right now it is snowing like crazy. I am totally ready to put up my Christmas tree. Am I crazy? I usually wait until Black Friday (I can't stand Christmas shopping crowds).

Would it be too much if I have a 10 foot tree up at Thanksgiving?

When do you start Christmas decorating?

An Early Christmas Present

2010-11-13T14:57:00.004-07:00

On Thursday night we were eating dinner and the phone rings. I answer it and this guy "Bob" starts rattling off something about craigslist and a pomeranian and ???? I interrupted "I have no idea what you are talking about but I know who probably does. Hold on please," and then I handed Matt the phone.

There is something you need to know about mi esposo: for every minute that I spend in the thrift store, Matt spends on-line looking at dogs. He is always showing me this dog or that dog who needs a home or some other such story. So as it turns out, this lady in South Park posted an ad back on Oct. 19th stating that she needed a home (that day) for her dog as she was moving and could not take the little fellow. Matt responded knowing that in a worst case scenario we could find the dog a home. So anyhow, the lady gave the dog to this guy Bob to foster and gave him our telephone number. And so three weeks later Bob called.

So as fate would have it, this morning we hit the road for Park County.

I was nervous all the way home wondering how Murphy was going to handle this turn of events. You know he is my tiny little love and the two of us are practically joined at the hip. So I had concerns in the jealousy department. (Callie is a sweet thing and I knew she would not care at all).

Here is how it all went down:

Come on in, little fella.

Callie gets a sniff.

Murph gets a sniff.

Matt gets a lick.

It is a race to see who can get in Matt's lap the first.

Don't worry boys.

There is plenty of love to go around.

The neighbors are checking out the new kid on the block.

(who has plenty of fur for the snowy winter ahead)

Any open lap is a target.

Murph is contemplating how he feels about another dog sitting on his momma's lap.

Love his adorable little snaggle tooth.

Hi new family.

I am home.

Just in time for the Holidays!

As I am typing this both little 4 year olds are wrestling around. Our new baby goes by the name "Purcey" but we have not 100% decided on keeping that name as is sounds a lot like "Murphy." BUT -- then again I don't know how I feel about changing a dog's name that he has had for 4 years.What do you think???

We are very excited and think he is going to be a great fit for our family. You know what they say about Summit County Colorado? To be a true local, you have to have more dogs living in your house than people.

We are working on it.

PS:

We don't really know too much about the little guy, but he is a love. Bob thinks that Purcey may have had some kind of procedure done in the past because he doesn't bark-- but he did not really know. The good news is that he is nuetered and all his shots are up to date (and he did not cost us a penny other than the gas money we spent to go pick him up).

PPS:

We already love him to pieces even though we have only had him a few hours.

2010 CMA Recap

2010-11-11T12:10:00.000-07:00

Did you watch the CMAs last night?

They were on TEEVEE, preempting my decent Wed. night shows that I usually watch (Modern Family, Cougar Town and sometimes The Middle). BTW I do not like that show that ABC tried to sneak in there -- Better With You. I fail to see the humor in that show. And re: The Middle, I am generally opposed to Mrs. Bible-beater Patricia Heaton, but the kids on the show are really funny, especially the daughter.

Back to CMAs: Matt has a thing for Miranda Lambert (or her music )so he was down with watching.

My Top 10 (mostly catty) CMA Observations:

1- I kind of hate Carrie Underwood for being so pretty and skinny and young and rich and talented.

2- Holy Hell to ~~Granny~~ Kellie Pickler.

3. Gwenyth Paltrow kind of loves herself too much. What was the standing ovation for??????

4. I do not like Sugarland or white spandex pants.

5. That guy from Lady Antebellum is Katherine Heigel's brother-in-law. (I had to google to see what the heck she was doing there). Oh and why is that band called Lady Antebellum? Is that even appropriate?

6. I did not miss Faith Hill at all. She bugs me for some reason. I do, however, looooove Tim MCGraw (maybe I am just jealous).

7. Nicole Kidman's dress was just terrible. I think this was her little way of telling us all that she hates country music.

8. Reba is awesome. And side note: She is from the same part of Oklahoma that I am and I do not have that crazy twang and neither does Carrie Underwood (who is also from that same area). Sometimes I think Reba is faking it and sometimes I think Dolly Parton might be faking it too. But then again, my brother Mike has lived here in Colorado for 20++ years and he has a Green Acres accent so I don't really know).

9. Every single time I see LeeAnn Rimes, I am mesmerized by her giant nostrils.

10. Remember this gal?

Don't be hating on her mee-maw cleavage.

After all, she never promised you a rose garden.

Is it Elk Season?

2010-11-10T12:08:00.001-07:00

If you have dogs you know that they all have their own little quirks that you have to deal with.

Murphy has plenty of issues and everyday he does something super annoying.That just goes with the chihuahua territory. To be expected.

Our other dog, Callie (a 13 year old mixed breed-- but some type of herder)on the other hand is well behaved, independent and smart.

HOWEVER, she does have one super annoying habit. She likes to tear apart every single dog bed that we buy. And the same goes for pillows. If they are on the floor, they are fair game.

Enjoy the carnage that I woke up to this morning won't you.

Ugh. Murphy likes to "hide" inside the probably toxic made-in-China stuffing.

He is a burrower.

These days I have just taken to duct-taping the holes.

(this is me giving up)

All righty then. That is annoying enough..

Just moments ago, she came to the door with this.

WHAT THE????

I seriously screamed when I was presented with this elk(?) human (?) werewolf(?) organ.

Now Callie is outside the window wondering why I won't let her back in the house.

"you NO like my little gift? "

Murphy x 2

2010-11-09T19:22:00.001-07:00

Have I mentioned that I have been trying to declutter my house? I have been trying to figure out what to do with my office. It is a pretty large space but I had FOUR desks and an oversized armoire in there. Crazy. So while posting stuff on Craigslist I found a Murphy bed for free ninety nine. That's right peeps. I said free. I was certain that Matt wanted to spend the weekend disassembling a bed and moving it across town and reassembling it and clearing out my office. So that is what we did. He is fun.

I have always thought that a Murphy bed looks a little strange, but it is def. what we needed. And I have been wanting one for a long ass time. Of course I looked at buying a new one but they sell for over $1000. Stupid. And then I thought that Matt could build one (he can pretty much make/build/fix anything) but the damn kits are over $400 for just the hardware and that is not even including the wood. Seriously. For a couple of pistons and screws??? Retarded.

Okay. Here it is. Don't tell me if you think it is ugly. It is the function I am after. You see, I do not have a spare guest room due to me turning a spare bedroom into my closet. This was not a problem when Chase was away at school but now that he is living here it means we have no extra space. And yeah, I have a pull out sofa in the living room, but those are so damn uncomfortable I feel bad if someone wants to stay over.

Now I shut up.

Here it is.

Do I look like a normal wall? Did I fool you with the picture hanging on the front?

Okay maybe not.

But the wood tone kind of blends with the weird walls in my office.

(and pretend like I painted the back of the door please)

See the fountain in the powder room?

That is there in case a client has to pee-- I wont have to hear it : )

Just thought I would share that.

These thingymajigs lock the wall in place and also pop out as legs.

Kinda ghetto, but whatever.

Here is the wall transformed into bed.

Murphy on the Murphy.

Another view of Murphy on the Murphy.

While we are on the subject-- this is where Murphy spends most of his time during the day.

(Any excuse to talk about my little love muffin)

I know I need to work on the space, but I am just so excited to have a spare bed.

Even if it is in my office.

That is just a drawback of working from home.

The best benefit?

My commute.

Honey, I am home.

Okay guests. I am ready. Make your reservations now.

Legal Ego

2010-11-05T11:29:00.004-06:00

Every 3 years I am required to complete 45 hours of continuing legal education in order to keep my law license active. Luckily for my agoraphobic self, these hours can be completed via webinars. Lorraine found a bundle on-line that we are trying to get through before the end of the year in order to meet our deadline.

A lot of these CLEs are really going to be applicable and useful to my small business practice.

Attorney-Client Privilege and the Suicidal Client
An Overview of H-1 Visas
Legal Issues Relating to the Purchase and Sale of Art

Oh well, I guess it won't hurt to broaden my horizons.

One of the first webinars I watched was called Legal Aspects of Blogging presented by Ronald Coleman, an attorney blogger and legal counsel for the Media Bloggers Association (whatever that is).

He spent the first 10 minutes or so explaining what a blog is and explaining how great his blog is and explaining how everyone else's blog pretty much sucks ass. Yuk-- Attitudes like that are the reason I despise most attorneys and refused to go to my 15 year law school reunion last month. I explained to Lorraine that most of those people were all a bunch of arrogant twats back in law school and I can't imagine what supreme douche bags they are after practicing law for 15 years. And don't even get me started on our local bar association meetings.

Back to the webinar: Here is what Mr. Coleman had to say about bloggers (these are direct quotes).

"The vast majority of blogs, blogging and bloggers are of no interest to anyone."

"Most blogs don't deserve to be read. Most people are not good writers and don't necessarily have something to say"

and then he went on to say that most blogs "stink" and most bloggers are "unremarkable" and the only reason that anyone reads a blog is because they have a blog and they are part of a "mutual admiration society." HA! Has he ever been to a bar association meeting???

Typical lawyer. I think his point was that most blogs are not read by very many people. However, he could not resist the urge to inflate his own ego in making the point. He also mentioned (at least three times) that his blog is one of the ABA top 100 blogs. In fact he started the hour long session with that point and ended it with that point.

If I could do it all over, I would be a florist.

I am all over the place

2010-11-02T15:07:00.002-06:00

Do you knit? I really should learn.

I found this on Etsy a while back and thought it was cute. (I bookmarked the page in case I ever do decide to learn to knit. I am ambitious like that).

Much more fun than a baby blanket.

In other randomness:

Have you ever been on the Sproost website?

They have this little quiz where you look at pictures and rate the look and they tell you what decorating "style" you have.

I took the quiz about 10 times (they have a bunch of different pictures) and I got different results each and every time. Maybe the design test is actually a psychological quiz in disguise-- now I have officially been diagnosed with some sort of multiple personality disorder:

My results:

Rustic Revival? Okay that sounds good-- not sure what that means exactly. Is that like Pottery Barn or what?

Hollywood Couture? ooh la la. Maybe someday.

Traditional Country? A little boring, but I do like.

French Eclectic? Oui. Oui..

I don't know how many styles are out there?? I guess I can appreciate pretty much any design style except maybe a really modern sparse look. That just makes the hoarder in me depressed.

*********************************************

I am thinking of walking over to the elementary school to go vote now. One of the perks of living in a small town is that there is never a line to vote or to renew your license : )

Skip the house with the middle age lady and yapping chihuahua

2010-10-31T16:08:00.000-06:00

Happy Halloween! Besides my damn gray roots, further proof that I becoming a hag is that I have not bought any candy to pass out to the kids. I was seriously planning on just shutting off the lights and drinking beer in the dark. However, since Matt and I were invited for a little get-together at a neighbor's house, I now have a legitimate excuse not to pass out treats. (FYI--I am wearing an orange t-shirt right now if that makes me any less of a Halloween ghoul).

My sweet in-laws came up to the mountains yesterday and we all got to hang out. They brought me some fabulous birthday gifts (that's the perks of being the only girl. my mother-in-law and I are treated like the queens that we are). Anyway, I wont brag about all my fabulous gifts, but one of them may or may not have been this bowl.

Someone knows that I have a serious dish fetish.

Last night I had a dream that in addition to all the wonderful b-day gifts that I received, my mother-in-law (Judy) left me a $50 bill under a cup "to go shopping." In my dream I told her "oh Judy, you gave me so much, you didn't need to give me any money." Her reply was "well you better buy something for Matt. It is not all about you, you know." HAHAHA. We all got a laugh out of that. That is the last thing that she would ever do in real life.

**********************

Chase works as a waiter/bartender at a popular place in our area. He decided he was going to dress up as a milkman last night for work.

So he bought a bow tie. I mean a real bow tie that you have to tie. And he spent forever trying to figure out how to tie the damn thing.

He finally figured it out. I think he looked pretty authentic.

He can't put the phone down for a picture?

I don't know if he carried those bottles around all night or what? I asked Matt this morning. "What are the odds that Chase returns my basket?"

Matt gave it a "less than zero."

So funny story about tying a tie. We lived in Dallas when Chase was in middle school and he was playing football at that time. In case you haven't heard: the state of Texas takes football playing Very Seriously. In 7th grade, his football coach made it clear that on Monday's game day, the boys were to wear a shirt and tie to school. Serious business. So the weekend before the first game, we went to Penney's and bought him a shirt and tie. Of course I did not know how to tie the damn thing, so I told Chase that he was going to have to get on the internet and figure it out. He did so without a problem. (I guess the bow tie is a little trickier).

That first game never happened because that day was September 11, 2001 and all events were cancelled. There were, however, plenty of other tie-wearing occasions that came to pass. Flash forward three years to 2004. Matt and I were getting married in "we are getting married" clothes. Luckily my son knew how to tie a tie because my soon-to-be snowboarder husband had never really needed to wear one and had no clue: ) That is a sweet memory.

****************************

In case you are wondering at all.

I mastered the Moo Shu pork. I was really worried about those pancake things, but they were simple.

It was all the damn chopping. Waaayyy easier to call Bamboo Garden. Oh and I learned that Moo shu is Mandarin for "wood ear" which is the type of mushrooms that are in the dish. Anyhow, I made Moo shu on Friday for my mom's birthday dinner (our b-day's are three days apart) .

Happy b-day Mom (if you still read my blog) and thank you for the wonderful b-day gift that you gave me : )

Craigslist Stalker

2010-10-28T12:39:00.003-06:00

I have been in major "clean out the damn clutter" mode for the past two weeks. I have taken two jeep loads to the FIRC in the last week and (shockingly) have only come home with about a half load. Maybe someday I will actually be able to park my Jeep in the garage. To that end, I have posted all kinds of furniture and extra crap on Craigslist (but have only managed to sell one little office chair). Boo-hoo.

Well on to what I gathered at the FIRC and elsewhere.

Okay, here is a weird one. Ever see one of these?

It is a carved little porcelain plate with a blue light behind it,

that looks like this when it is dark.

How could I resist for $1.99? I mean seriously.

Through the magic of Google, I learned that this thing is a "lithophane." I can't wait for that to be on Jeopardy. Boo-ya Alex!

Last year for my b-day, Matt took me to the ARC in Denver (yes that is what I wanted to do) and I bought a red gumball machine. It has been sitting down in my laundry room gathering dust. So in my push to declutter, I got the thing out, painted it white and filled it with my all time favorite, WHOPPERS! Woo-hoo. BTW, on my eighth birthday, my brother Mike bought me a carton of Whoppers-- and I have to tell you that it is still one of my best birthday memories. I was so dang excited.

Now it is like it is my 8th birthday everyday!

So since I posted a bunch of crap on Craigslist, I had to counterbalance that with looking for crap to take home on Craigslist. Yin and Yang. And speaking of yin and yang, up until two weeks ago, I thought it was "ying and yang." Am I retarded? How did I never notice that there was no "g" in yin before. Duh and oh yeah, it wasn't until law school before I realized that "for all intents and purposes" was not "for all intensive purposes." I wonder what other phrases I am mis-phrasing.

So anyway, the Rocky Mountain Craigslist postings are not that extensive --as you can imagine. While purusing the "free" section I see a listing for all kinds of promising things. And guess what ? The free stuff is on my street. And guess what else? It is the same house that I bought my butcher block island. In the end, I took home a wicker rocker and a lighted makeup mirror. And guess what else else? I have been wanting one of these mirrors for like years. Every time I go into Bed Bath & Beyond I am shocked when I look into one of the x10 magnification mirrors on display and see that I have a wild hair growing out my eyebrow or chin. I have never really wanted to fork over 60++ bucks to terrify myself in this manner, but for free, I will.

Have you ever seen my spare bedroom turned Lori's dressing room otherwise known as the "princess suite?" I highly recommend that you forgo having kids --or at least keep them to a minimum so you can have one of these rooms. Seriously.

Oh gawd, this post is getting long.

I will be quick.

In a turn of genius, I hung up this little corner light that I bought at a garage sale. That corner was so dark.

I had to string it through this scary hole.

I was pretty proud of myself.

Oh and do you want to see the other door painted orange?

Of course you do. Here it is.

I really do like it.

And finally, so you can see the kind of mature people that I live with.

"tongue of Lori"

RUDE!

AND something totally totally unrelated. Has anyone ever made Moo Shu Pork? What about those pancake things that go with it? Is it impossible?

It's my Birthday and I'll Blog if I want to

2010-10-26T13:01:00.004-06:00

Today I march deeper into middle age.

That aight. Nothing says "sexy" like 42 years old. Try not to be too jealous.

Want to know how the world looked when I made my debut back in October of 1968?

People were crazy for the race to the moon.

Life Magazine cover Oct. 25, 1968

Revlon got in on the moon craze

I did not realize that the space race was the inspiration for Revlon's Moondrop lipstick line until spotting this ad in Life Magazine. When I think of moist lips, I think of the moon. haha. In 1968, man had no way of knowing that the moon was as dry as a Mormon's liquor cabinet.

Of course, Vietnam was in full swing back in October of '68.

Here is what this soldier had to say about the upcoming presidential election with candidates Nixon/Humphrey/Wallace (btw doesn't the soldier kinda look like Obama)?

"I filled out the registration card when they came around and asked for it, but I'm not voting for anybody. Those guys don't really want to end the war. They must make money off it. They don't give a damn about 'our boys' over here."

Sound familiar? Blackwater anyone? Some things are timeless.

Back in October of 1968, the Summer Olympics were held in Mexico City.

The text reads: "It was as much a victory over the force of nature as his opponents just as the vault of Apollo 7 into space proved once again, spectacularly, that man will not forever be pinned to this planet . . ."

WTF?? I guess journalists were required to relate everything to the space race back in October of 1968.

Propaganda. It is not just for Commies.

Here on planet Earth, ideas were slow to change-- as evidenced by this ad that I found in the October 1968 Popular Mechanics.

Hahaha. What use will men be when mechanics become so easy that even a girl can do them?

That reminds me of a conversation that I had with Matt last night. We were watching TV and a political ad came on attacking a particular Senate candidate. The advertisement is saying that the male candidate is an extremist and does not believe in abortion, even for cases of rape and incest.

Me: I think we should pass a law that states that no man should ever be allowed to vote on any abortion or reproductive issue.

Matt: I disagree. I definitely think men should be allowed to vote on those issues. We have been voting longer. We are better at it.

Sometimes. I swear.

Back to 1968. Here is a little glimpse into our "future."

I like how our future space-age selves are using a corded rotary phone to send high-tech images. Easy to imagine a man on the moon-- but a cordless phone? Get outta here.

Want to hear something crazy? A brand new microwave would set you back $545 in October of 1968 (I did not even know microwaves were around then).

That would be a whopping $3,471.75 in 2010.

No thank you.

I would rather have two of these.

I could use a Boonie-Bike right about now. Despite the high hopes held for my future back in 1968, today I remain pinned to this planet.

And, this is how my little spot on Earth looked on the morning of October 26, 2010, the day I turned 42.

THE END.

Dragons and Dulce de Leche

2010-10-21T16:40:00.005-06:00

Yesterday was that time again.

Bookclub.

And this month it was my turn to host.

If you have ever been to my house, you know I am a huge fan of the bundt cake. I make one on for pretty much every occasion. I actually feel sad if there is not a bundt cake sitting all pretty on my counter. It is like I am stuck in 1974 and refuse to leave.

As expected, I made a bookclub bundt. I thought I would try the wonderful fall flavor of butter pecan.

I also thought a good complement to butter pecan would be Ben and Jerry's new flavor called Dulce Delish. While I don't approve of the term "delish" (due to Rachel Raytard using it every third word), the ice cream is highly recommended.

I am going to have to talk to Ben and Jerry about the little name situation. BTW, if you say "delish" "EVOO" or "Groovy" we cannot be friends.

Oh and hey, do they give Nobel prizes for food? If they do, I nominate Ben and Jerry for this genius flavor:

Go to the store and buy some right now.I will wait right here.

Okay, you back?? On to the bookclub and book review.

The book we read was the Swedish book "The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo."

Here is a picture of my niece, Tara, reading the book (that I stole off her blog).

(I sure hope she doesn't sue me).

BTW, Tara is not in my bookclub, but she does like to read.

While I am the fool that selected the tattoo book over a month ago, I farted around and did not start reading it until Monday at 10PM. Uhm, I did not know it was 600 pages long and that half the words are Swedish things that I am clueless about. Oh and excuse me. It is a very violent and graphic book. (Sidenote: I just thought of something. Isn't the bundt pan a Swedish thing? Oh I bet those bookclub girls think I am super clever. HA!).

Ok. Enough about me, on to the book:

Attention Swedish publishing people. Guess what? I don't know the value of a kronor. For example, when I read this paragraph, I am confused:

"At 9:30 she had breakfast in the hotel bar: two cups of coffee and a bagel with jam. The cost was 210 kroner. Are these people soft in the head?"

For all I know 210 kronor could be worth seven cents or it could be worth 54,311 dollars. This is America. Put things in terms I can understand. I am on strict reading deadline and I don't have time to google currency converters.

Then there were lines like this one at the beginning of the book.

"Three months in goal and 150,000 kronor damages. That's pretty severe."

Oh, I see how it is going to be. An "English" translation, eh? Again this America, I am pretty sure we say "jail."

And the money thing. Sooooo irritating.

One of our bookclub members, Jane is from England and I tried to convince her that she needed to be in charge due the "English" translation, but she claimed that she was confused by a lot of the terms. I tried to argue that as a native European she needed to take full responsibility for the situation-- but shockingly, that logic did not really go anywhere.

On a positive note, I do like the idea of tattooing people with "warning labels" when they are mean to me.

Remember that time when Matt was super bossy and wouldn't let me watch the second half hour of Sister Wives because he wanted to watch Eastbound and Down? That was so rude. How cool would it have been if I would have thought of handcuffing him to the coffee table and tattooing "GREEDY" right on his ass. I bet he would let me watch whatever I wanted if I would have done that.

Well, that is my review. If coherency is your thing and you don't like my review check out Tara's.

I am probably going to be inducted into the Hall of Fame

2010-10-17T17:05:00.002-06:00

I don't know if it is a full moon or what, but I was feeling pretty wacky today.

Yesterday, I bought a new front door that I found on craigslist . I actually have two front doors; one on the ground garden-level (which is my office door) and one on the main house level. We put the office door on 6 years ago and I have yet to paint it (lame I know). Then I found the exact same door on craigslist, so I bought it and ~~I acted like a big brat until I got my way~~ asked sweetly if Matt would hang it on the main level on his one and only day off.

So while my wonderful husband was doing this,

I was painting my identical office door . . . . . . orange.

That is right, I said ORANGE.

orange paint job in progress

Orange you glad I didn't say banana? That would be just wrong.

(oh, and I am going to paint the other door tomorrow).

Matt and Chase were teasing me that I was painting the door Bronco orange. So Matt put John Elway's number 7 on the door with blue painter's tape.

Well, at least John will feel welcome when he drops by for dinner (which he is prone to do).

Welcome Bronco fans.

Won't you come on in and have some bacon popcorn?

What is that I said????

You read it right.

BACON POPCORN (this is where I get inducted in the Hall of Fame).

People, I expect fan mail.

INGREDIENTS: BACON, POPCORN, SALT, PEPPER and PARMESAN CHEESE

FRY YOUR PIG

PUT THE BACON GREASE IN YOUR POPCORN POPPING PAN

ADD YOUR CORN and POP

AFTER POPPING, CRUMBLE THE BACON AND ADD SOME CHEESE

SALT AND PEPPER

EAT while watching the game (preferably the Bronco's game).

I am thinking of calling this "pigskin popcorn."

What do you think????

Hopped up on Herbal Tea and Freebloggin

2010-10-12T22:53:00.010-06:00

I am watching the mine rescue and since I hate twitter, I am going to live blog.

1. Why are the people on the outside of the mine wearing hard hats? Is someone going to throw a rock at the families or the Chilean President? It reminds me of pro baseball managers. Why do they all wear uniforms? Are they going to pinch hit or something?

2. Who had the flag idea first? Texas or Chile? Oh and I am glad they they had time to paint that flag on the rescue tube. However, I am shocked that Coca-Cola did not figure out a way to plaster their logo all over it. You gotta know if it was a US rescue, McDonald's and Coke would be all up in that.

3. I am glad that Chile had the good sense to schedule the rescue for prime time. I hate repeats. I and am still mad they did not broadcast the winter Olympics live. RUDE. Oh and hey dumb ABC Olympics bosses, did you see Bruce ~~Kardashian~~ Jenner running around or something? These weren't the '76 games. I have the internets!! I knew who won before your big surprise primetime presentation.

4. What the freak is the temperature down in Copiapo, Chile? Why so many puffy coats? Oh and hey, I like saying "Copiapo."

5. These guys look remarkably non-chalant upon emergence from that tube. I would definitely need a bottle of wine with a Xanax chaser before I got in that thing. Hold up. Matt is pointing out that these guys are miners and are used to confined spaces because, ya know they are miners. Whatever.

6. I am kinda in love with Mario Zimwhatshisname (the second miner). Also, I am cracking up because as they were showing his picture earlier, I was thinking he is an "older gentleman" then MSNBC informs me that he celebrated his 40th birthday down there in the mine. Nuts. I am 41, but in my mind, I look 24ish.

7. Whose car alarm keeps going off? Yo homes, check yo Escalade.

8. Quit showing US miners. We just look stupid. No offense if you are a US miner who was once trapped but later rescued and are now on MSNBC giving your thoughts. BTW, did you ever see Coal Miner's Daughter? I think I know every line in that movie. Remember when the only premium channel available was HBO and they only played about 4 movies each month over and over? To this day if that movie comes on, I am compelled to watch it. It does not matter whatever else is on or what part of the movie I stumble across, I watch it. Maybe it is just THAT great of a movie or maybe I just revert back to 1981 and think that is all that is on.

9. Are those guys getting overtime for the months down there? If it was the cheap company that Matt works for, they would probably deduct the cost of his food and water. I would have to call Gloria Allred to straighten shit out.

10. Do you think these reporters are going to stay up all night ++++ for all 30 miners?

11. Matt claims to have no memory of the coverage of the rescue of little baby Jessica who fell in that well in the 80s. How is that possible? I wonder if he remembers the OJ low-speed freeway chase??? Jeesh. What about 9/11? Oh wait. He was probably playing frisbee golf that day.

12. These reporters make me want to cut. So stupid.

This post is subject to updates . . . .

Welcome to my world

2010-10-12T10:21:00.000-06:00

It is snowing this morning.

Well, bring it winter.

I can take it, even though my calendar is most definitely telling me it is FALL.

I promise I just wanted to sit here and drink coffee and eat cinnamon raisin toast anyway.

The Apple of my Island

2010-10-10T14:06:00.005-06:00

Happy 10/10/10 y'all.

************************
We slept in Saturday morning because we had been down to Denver on Friday night and we did not get home until after 1am (which is pretty much unheard of around here). After breakfast we decided to take the dogs for a walk on the golf course which has finally closed for the winter. The golf course becomes our default snowshoe route, sledding hill and general dog walking spot all winter long. Love it. Anyway it was cold and, get this, snowing on Saturday. Ugh.

Contrary to our street be designated a "circle" it is actually a semi-circle and just around the curve, our neighbor was having a garage sale right across from the golf course. They weren't having much luck due the fact that it was cold and ya know, snowing. Matt and I were the only customers.

We take a quick look around and then . . . .

I spotted it.

There it was.

I have been searching craigslist for almost two years now.

When I do find something similar, the sellers want $300 for it. Uh, I don't think so.

What is it?

This John Boos million pound maple island.

I have wanted one of these honking islands since high school. My friend Jennifer's mom had the same island in her kitchen and I LOVED it more than words. I graduated from high school in 1986. Hello. That is a long time to wait for a giant chunk of wood.

Guess how much the neighbors wanted for it?

$50. I almost peed. But still, I could not resist bargaining (it was a garage sale after all) and offered them $40.

SOLD!

It was in pretty sad shape and we spent another $20 on sand paper and the better part of the day fixing her up, but now she is PERFECT. (In my excitement I forgot to take BEFORE pics).

OK, check it out. I took pictures from every possible angle to show you just how darn perfect it is in my kitchen.

(we took the knife holder off because I have a magnetic holder for knives already)

The real deal peeps.

Matt is going to lower the light two feet so it will be hanging at just the right height over my island (you know I like to keep the man busy).

I am in Love. Doesn't it look like it was custom made for my kitchen?

I am convinced that ANYTHING you want you can find for next to nothing if you go to enough thrift stores and garage sales. What I love about this particular find is that we weren't even going to a garage sale, we just ran right into it.

PS:

I have mentioned before about how Matt and I have a garage sale list of things we are hoping to find someday.

For the last year in addition to that island and a million other things, I have been on the lookout for something like this bucket to use as a trash can in my bathroom (oh and yes, I am 100% serious).

You would think that there would be thousands of old buckets like this out there, but I have yet to find one.

Oh well. One of these days.

Today I will just sit here and be happy about my awesome island.

Lending a beauty hand

2010-10-08T11:56:00.010-06:00

My adorable niece Mia started cosmetology school in Denver last month and, of course, I was recruited to be a model. Okay, I was really just part of her test, but the instructor did refer to us ~~guinea pigs~~ test subjects as "models" so I am going with it.

Anyway, on to the program.

"Warning" sign upon arrival.

Look, here comes Mia.

Oh, hai Mia. (I told you she was adorable).

Me: Cute boots!

Mia: Aunt Lori, it is so weird living in a place with actual malls and a Ross.

(Poor little mountain child)

Mia tells me I will be the first real person she works on. She is so OVER slutty Becky.

This is slutty Becky.

(ummm, they still teach perms???)

First order of business. A facial.

I may or may not have gotten Miss Mia in trouble for talking during an exam during the facial part.

(I will never tell).

On to the manicure.

Mia doing her best Mrs. Swan.

Mia's classmates. (I think cute hair was a prerequisite to get in this school).

Wait a minute.

What is this?

I may need to borrow this hand for Halloween.

(oh and I think my modeling days might be numbered if I don't stop yaking and playing with the props).

Hold up.

That creepy hand was nothing

Check out the back of Mia's car.

All kinds of Slutty Beckys rolling around.

Truly frightening!

Well that's all folks.

BUH-BYE!!

(And a BIG thank you to Miss Mia for the facial , manicure and fun)

Tattoo You (I mean me)

2010-10-05T23:01:00.004-06:00

I just remembered a dream I had the other night. PLEASE DON'T STOP READING! I need your help. I won't tell you every last detail. Promise.

Here is the gist of it: I had a dream that I went out and got my eyebrows/forehead tattooed in this crazy design that looked something sorta like this.

In my dream I just had the forehead thing. Not all that chin crap and piercings.

Also in my dream I am at a club (when was the last time I went clubbing?) and I was showing a bunch of people and they were all horrified and then I was suddenly embarrassed and realized the gravity of situation so I tried to cut bangs to cover them up.

WHAT DOES THAT MEAN???

I totally forgot about my dream until just now when I read on the nets how Kelly Osbourne regrets all her ink and is now getting her tattoos removed.

Possible dream meanings that I have come up with:

A. I deeply regret something from my past.

B. I am a show-off and people are off-put (you know this one ain't true).

C. I am going to be a contestant on Dancing With the Stars and then I am going to drop thirty pounds.

D. Something about Mick Jagger.

Any thoughts?

Oh and hey y'all. There are some seriously messed up tattoos out there. Do not google "facial tattoos."

Memory Card Dump

2010-10-05T14:42:00.007-06:00

This post promises to have no point. I am going to clear out the memory card from my camera (and my brain) from the last week and throw it all out at you.

So this is what has been going on.

I made a pie last Tuesday.

It looks pretty good right? I even made the crust. Well, it did not taste that great because everyone had one piece and that was it. Bad sign. I threw it away on Sunday. It was a peach/blueberry pie but I tossed in some leftover craisins to get rid of them. I dunno, maybe that did it, or maybe with all the nutmeg and cinnamon -- it just sort of tasted like pot pourri. Does anyone buy pot pourri anymore? Remember when you had little dishes of that stuff all over the house? Well, I have a recipe if you need it.

I know I showed you all the crap I bought at the FIRC last week. Here is a picture from my front porch utilizing some of my finds. Oh and I seemed to have forgotten all about my giant bin in the garage labeled "FALL CRAP." I got it out and then suddenly felt overwhelmed and took it back to the garage. I don't watch Hoarders. Is this how it all starts? Please tell me no.

So what did I do on Wednesday even though I had been to the FIRC on Tuesday? I went again with my sister-in-law, Mo. I know what you are thinking. I sure do have a love/hate relationship with my sister-in-law. The fact is, I have two sisters-in-law. I should give them labels so you know which one I am talking about. One is the semi-normal, Mo (that was a joke to see if she is reading) who lives down the street and then there is the other s-i-law (who somehow got out of hell on a visitor's pass) that lives out of state. I don't ever talk to that one. Anyway, the point of all that is that I took this picture outside the FIRC.

I thought they were butterflies, but Matt tells me they are moths. Whichever they were, they sure liked this yellow bush (or is it a shrub Mr. Know-it-All?).

Our niece, Sierra, came over after school on Friday. She is an Ugg wearing nut.

She is also artistic and drew a mural on my chalkboard.

Can you read that notation on my chalkboard? It says "FACIAL W/ MIA" I know you are thinking; that I am pretty fancy. Well, I am. However, I have never had a facial. My niece, Mia, is in beauty school down in Denver and I am going to be some sort of class project.

In addition to Friday afternoon, Sierra also spent Saturday evening with us. My mom is down in Texas, so Matt and I were back-up babysitters. Sierra brought her own chocolate fondue fixings. I am not even lying. She must have heard about that pie.

Matt and Sierra had a "who can eat the most chocolate covered pound cake contest" and I think Sierra won!

I don't know why these pictures are so blurry. I was not even drinking. Not even Coors Light.

Notice they ate all the cake but there were plenty of strawberries left over.

Finally, as a parting gift, I would like to present Murph recovering from a Sierra hangover (he loves her).

Ciao,

Lowbrow TV Showdown

2010-10-04T16:32:00.006-06:00

I was only able to watch the first half hour of Sister Wives last night. It was a little more sad/pathetic than the premiere. Did anyone else watch it? Did anyone else wonder why the 1st sister-wife was trying to move the pregnant (and completely wacko) sister-wife's armoire by herself while the sister-wife the size of Hulk Hogan was just chatting to the camera crew?

Did you also wonder why the hell in this day and age she needed that honking armoire in her bedroom anyway? Couldn't Kody have negotiated a flat screen TV for each of his hos when he was making a deal with TLC? He shoulda came to me for legal advice and I woulda hooked a brotha and a sista, sista, & sista up! BTW, I get all my good contract rider ideas by reading exposed celebrity contracts on thesmokinggun.com. I would have totally plagiarized some Jennifer Lopez diva crap right in that agreement! In fact, I think I have found my true calling. Legal Rider Writer extraordinaire. Seriously, if you know of any openings, shoot me an e-mail.

Speaking of sad/pathetic, the reason I could not watch the second hour of Sister Wives was because Matt had one hundred percent decided that we were watching Eastbound and Down on HBO at 8:30 and due to the economy sucking we gave up our beloved DVR last year. I could have went upstairs to our bedroom to watch TLC but we do not have a remote for that TV (I know right?) and there was no way I was going to deal with that scenario and besides Eastbound and Down cracks me up. For those of you who have not seen this show, it is well???? Weird, hysterical, sad, touching,offensive, pathetic, raunchy and definitely R rated.

Here is the best of Kenny Power's, the disgraced and down on his luck ex-baseball star and main character.

This year, he is down in Mexico which is not as funny as last season (in my opinion), but this line cracked me up.

"Christ I didn't know that living in the barrio would be so fucking loud."

My dad has lived in Cozumel for the last 15 years. Matt and I have figured out that even though we can stay at my dad's perfectly comfortable house, his neighbors invariably have a rooster or two or three or a non-stop barking chihuahua or an unhappy goat or there might be a 16 piece band that plays all night on a trailer in front of his house or the propane sales truck, with its catchy jingle over a loudspeaker, may start making rounds at 6 am or, god forbid, it may be election time and the mayoral campaigning is in full swing or, etc., etc., etc.!!!

ARRRRGGGHHHH! I guess he is used to it, but we are frazzled after dealing with that for a week! So now we will only stay at a hotel on the beach away from the never ending noise. Not that we aren't culturally sensitive and not that we don't want to hang with the locals, but why the hell does it have to be so damned loud ALL THE TIME.

What goes around comes around

2010-10-01T11:07:00.004-06:00

Or is it "what comes around goes around?" I can never remember.

Oh and damn you Justin Timberlake. Everytime I think of that phrase, it is Justin Timberlake singing it to me in my head. Ruiner!

Anyway, in addition to diet books, I like to read other self help nonsense. I picked up Deepak Chapora's book, The Spontaneous Fulfillment of Desire at the FIRC awhile back. Since last week, I half-heartedly have been applying his psuedo-Hindu principles to my life.

In order to get my synchrodestiny going, I am commanding the universe to allow me to win the Powerball. In order to help the universe along in opening up my true destiny as a white(ish) trash lottery winner, I am republishing my open letter to the Powerball Jackpot that I wrote a few months back. Yes, it is coming right back at you.

Have you already read it? Well, have a heart and read it again. I think the more people that read it, the better the chances the Cosmos will figure out that I need a flashy car, mink undies and a gold grill.

Do it already!

***********************************************

Dear Powerball Jackpot,

Hi there gorgeous. Its Lori. I just wanted to let you know that I am a little hurt about the way you have been treating me. Was it something I said?

Oh PJ, I know we have not been very close in the past and we have never had a serious relationship, but I want you to know that I am tired of your teasing. You really know how to keep me coming back for more. But I have to tell you, this little game you play makes me feel used and cheapened.

I cannot tell you the countless nights I have spent waiting anxiously to see if you would show me your love. Sure, there was that one time when you hooked up with three of my numbers, but it is not enough. I need to know what it feels like to be one with you-- to have you all to myself. Enough with these casual encounters!

I'm sorry if I sound desperate. It is just that I don't understand you. From what I have seen, all of your past serious relationships have been with losers. You deserve better.

I want to show you the finer things in life. Good food, fine wine and exotic vacations. I promise I will treat you with the love and respect you deserve. I want you to have it all-- and I promise you that if someday, we do take it to the next level, I will not share you with another.

Think about it. You are always in my fantasies!

Why didn't I think of that!

2010-09-29T15:49:00.006-06:00

Seriously, this is hilarious. I wish it was my blog.

http://catalogliving.net/

I am totally moving in with Gary and Elaine!!!

In other news, I got off my lazy ass and created a work blog (but I don't want to cross reference it because I don't think any of my clients need to know about my views on polygamy, marijuana laws, wine consumption or all about my thrift store addiction--- Not that any amateur sleuth or my creeper sister-in-law couldn't figure it out if they really wanted-- I just don't need to let it all hang out). I already have a website, but I thought I would go with a work blog as well. Keep me focused. Actually that is what "LexLociLori" was supposed to be about-- local legal issues, but, uh-- that is not what happened. Ha! Sue me.

Speaking of thrift addictions, this is what happened to me yesterday at the FIRC.

WHY? WHY? WHY?

I used to be embarrassed about how often I went and then I eventually surrendered to it and now I am treated like royalty and given unadvertised "discounts."

BTW, the FIRC is pronounced like one word-- (say "furk"). When I leave the house, Matt likes to say, "Just come straight back, no FIRCing around."

When I was leaving, I spotted these dread-locked kids heading into the FIRC. Too late hippies, I got all the good stuff! I was actually trying to take a picture of the sign outside, but these two were more interesting. I normally don't stalk people outside the FIRC. Promise.

Well, when all was said and done, I had FIRCed up this mess.

Did you notice the book? I think that is about the fifth book from that genre that I have purchased of late.

It is as if I think I can read my way skinny.

Polygamy looks fun

2010-09-27T13:01:00.009-06:00

I just watched that TLC Sister Wives ~~infomercial~~ show, and I am sold. Sign me up. You truly can have it all--- if you have a couple of sister wives to help you take care of business.

Seriously, TLC has put together a pretty rosy picture of polygamy. There was not a prairie dress or child bride to be found.

The only thing I did not really care for was the douchy husband, Cody.

I think he is as smug and slimy as Bill Henrickson.

But Matt is so level-headed and sweet, I think we could make a go of it without him getting all big-headed or growing boy band hair.

So assuming Matt is game, I have picked out my sister wives:

1-- Lorelai Glimore.

I think we could have fun drinking over-sized mugs of coffee and making obscure pop-culture references while folding laundry. I hope she is still friends with Sookie (though I think that Sookie may have her very own show now-- so she may not have time to hang out with us).

2-- Kristin Wiig. She is just so damn funny and since we probably won't be able to afford to go out, we will need her around for some entertainment.

I promise I will only make her do that Lawrence Welk singing-sister act once a day. They did not really touch on it in the TLC show, but according to Big Love, the first wife is the Boss!

3-- and since we are going to be having a lot of fun, talking smack and laughing, we will probably need someone that can cook.

I thought about Paula Dean, but I don't think Matt would go for that.

I thought about Giada.

But then I got worried that she might be too sexy and stir up jealousy issues with me and Lorelai and Kristin. Besides, she strikes me as a Nicky-style trouble maker and honestly, who has time for that?

And Rachel Ray is out of the question for obvious reasons.
(That being that I want to punch her in the face every time that she opens her damn trap).

I just realized that celebrity chefs are all super annoying.

I am out of ideas. Any suggestions???

In all seriousness, if given the choice between the polygamist (Browns) and the quiverfull (Duggars), I would go with the polygamists.

The Duggars scare the crap out of me.

Sign Sign everywhere a sign. (Blocking out the scenery, breaking my mind ..).

2010-09-26T15:33:00.006-06:00

SATURDAY:

We took the dogs on the Salt Lick Trail in Eagle's Nest Wilderness area.

Georgous.

Do you remember those movies from the 70's where that family gets fed up with city life and moves to the middle of nowhere to get away from The Man and all his trappings?

Yeah, I loved those movies and fantasized about living such a life.

I am making my dream a reality right?

HAHAHAHA!!

In reality, The Man won't let you enjoy the freakin wildnerness!!!

Here are some signs from our little outing.

The Man is even trying to keep the wildlife down.

LOL! Keep it calm Mr. Moose. You best behave in the national wilderness. Who do you think you are?? Don''t you know about 36 CFR 261? Don't make me call The Man.

****************************************************

SUNDAY:

Fall rituals are in full swing:

Out come the pumpkins:

Semi-Homemade Green Chili.

(Too lazy to roast the chilis this year so I cheated with these guys from the freezer section)

Semi-round tortillas.

It is all bueno.

(Chase and I made the chili-- guess who cleaned up?)

Double dipping (on sports watching).

GO ROCKIES!!!

GO BRONCOS!!!

Did you notice the bear?
Matt shot that bear when he was 13. The first week after we were married and we got moved into our house, Matt's parents loaded that bear up and brought it straight over.
(I guess they were tired of that guy in their basement for 25 years).

I think he is cute.
(And don't you know he will be sporting a Santa hat here in a couple of months).

Hope you are having a great fall weekend.

Im a big boon to big business

2010-09-24T13:46:00.004-06:00

Let me just say that I have been very unbloggy lately. That is in both writing posts and reading other blogs. I have the fuck-its. I also have a potty finger-- Okay that sounded gross but that was supposed to mean potty mouth, but in the written form. That was stupid. What the hell?

Did you see in the news that Blockbuster filed bankruptcy yesterday? Big shocker. The writing was on the wall. I have not been to a BB for at least 4 years. I think the last movie I rented was Napoleon Dynamite. I take that back. I actually bought the Napoleon Dynamite DVD there and that was the last time I set foot in a Blockbuster (though there is one just down the street). I think I the only reason that I went there was because someone had given Chase a Blockbuster gift card for Christmas.

Funny story. Did you know I grew up in Dallas? We lived about a mile from the original Blockbuster (which opened when I was in high school). It seemed like in one year's time they were EVERYWHERE!! I am not saying that I gave them their start, but I am pretty sure that they failed without me.

Allow me to explain. I moved back to Dallas in 1999 to work as an attorney in the telecom industry. This was the time when they were giving away crazy stock options, IPOs were happening by the minute and the economy was just swell. The telcom company that I worked for was bought out within one year --and the new corp. canned the entire legal department. After that shitfest, I went on an interview with Blockbuster (HQ in downtown Dallas) for an in-house attorney position. Things were going GREAT and I had interviewed with several big-wigs at the company. Finally as things were wrapping up, I was asked the "do you have any questions" question. I asked if I got the job, would they consider forgiving my enormous late fee debt?? THAT WAS NOT WELL RECEIVED!!! I should have just said I was a spy from Hollywood Video. I was told that they were "extended viewing fees and other bullshit, bullshit, bullshit." HAHAAHA!! I did not get that job.

I am sure I could have saved them if I would have landed a job there: )They just did not want to hear the TRUTH!

My other brush with a big business taking off from my neighborhood was with Chipotle. When I first got out of law school, we moved down the street from the original Chipotle in Denver. It was the only Chipotle at the time and like Blockbuster, it suddenly just exploded.

I still love Chipotle (and it really hasn't changed much from its original restaurant) even though I think they are now owned by the evil McDonalds conglomerate.

Here is my burrito order:

- Chicken

non-cilantro rice (HATE ~~soap~~cilantro) You can totally order without cilantro. They keep it in back.
pinto beans (gross to the black beans, this is America, not the Caribbean, I like my Mexican, Mexican style)
hottest sauce
corn sauce (though there is some cilantro in there which is OK as long as it does not get on my tongue)
cheese
a tiny bit of sour cream
chips to scoop up the droppings

TOTALLY WORTH THE 1,000+++++ calories, dontcha think?

Have a great weekend.

Jumping on the Bandwagon

2010-09-21T11:24:00.001-06:00

I know I am a little late on this one, but I made grilled pizza for the first time on Sunday. I make my own pizza all the time, but had never tried it out on the grill so I thought I would give it a whirl while we watched the Bronco's game.

I used my normal pizza crust recipe, but added one extra tablespoon of olive oil so it would not stick to the grill. I also kneaded it for 10 minutes, divided it and let it rise for one hour.

I was not planning on blogging about it, but Matt was taking pictures, so why not homes?

First, I got the grill hot (500 degrees) then I put the dough on the grill and let it puff up. I then took it off, flipped it over and added my toppings (Canadian bacon, red onions and peppers which I grilled on tin foil while I waiting for the grill to get super hot).

I then added fresh mozzarella and put the pizzas back on the grill.

It seriously took just a few short minutes and they were ready.

Matt loooovvvveeed the crust. Crispy and delicious.

Speaking of bandwagons, a few years ago the Rockies were in the division playoffs and Chase got us tickets to one of the games. Of course, I really had not been watching all year, but with Rockies potentially going to the World Series, I decided I needed to go all out in my support. So we went shopping.

And I wanted to buy some boots like these to wear to the game:

Matt's response: "Lori, if you are going to jump on the bandwagon, you should do so subtly."

Whateva!!!

BTW, the Rockies are looking pretty damn good late in the season.

Do you think I can pull this look off?

Just a thought.

All Guts, No Glory

2010-09-19T11:55:00.004-06:00

Yesterday we decided to spend the last Saturday of summer fishing.

Matt calls me the "fishin' magician" because I always seem to have such good luck. Of course he has to do all the dirty work, i.e. carrying the cooler, getting my pole ready, getting my line untangled, avoiding my wild casts (that may or mat not cause him bodily injury), getting my fish off the hook, stringing the fish, gutting the fish and fetching me beers. He really does not have time to catch any himself.

The weather was perfect-- so it wast fun just hanging outside with our dogs even though we spent hours before we even got a nibble.

In fact, it was so warm that all creatures (big and small) needed to cool their tootsies.

Callie thought that a swim was in order.

Matt's only luck was catching Coor's Light cans.

I wasn't giving up though.

After all, I was wearing my lucky fishing hat.

The day was clear and we had perfect views of North Peak at Keystone.

Soon enough there will be snow and skiers on those runs.

Callie look liked she wanted to soak up as much summer as possible before the snow flies.

Finally, a fish!!

So my angling Sherpa got to work.

Murphy supervised, of course.

It was almost sunset.

Time to go home.

What was on the dinner menu?

Fresh rainbow trout, of course.

THE END.

Friday Confessions

2010-09-17T12:03:00.007-06:00

My mind is mush. No sarcastic comments about the world are coming to mind.

Let's talk about Me for a bit.

Random happenings:

1-- I have lost 7.5 pounds. Not too bad considering I REFUSE to give up wine. I am sorry. I just can't help it. (Life is too long to go through it completely sober). So that means I am halfway to halfway. It is a sad state of affairs when Octomom, who sprung 14 kids from her clown car vag, looks better in a bathing suit than me. I am motivated.

2-- I think I may have made a girl in my bookclub cry on Wednesday night. Did I mention that I am a jerk? In my defense we read The Help which is about racism and civil rights. I am still mad about all that crap in Arizona and things just got a little personal for all involved. Awkward. Especially since we carpooled to bookclub.

3--Okay, this is not really a "confession" it is more of a WTF? So I was looking on my mom's facebook. Remember the in-law who posted her bragging crap last week. This is what she posted this morning.

Good thing we flew First Class so American could put those "Priority" tags on our bags, this way only 3 of our 4 bags are still lost between Nice/London & D/FW! Forget the clothes, shoes, makeup, gifts, etc. in our Tumi bags...I will be most upset about my fave $5 Sam Moon rings they no longer sell so AA better find my bags!!!!

LOL at the "First Class" and "Tumi." What an asshole. I may have to start a regular blog post of her FB status if they are ridiculous enough.

Have a rockin weekend.

It is Oktoberfest time! Woo-hoo!!

( I wonder how many calories are in a bratwurst. Those can't be too bad, right?)

(PS: I don't know why my blog layout got all weird with this post.)

Stayin Alive (It's all right. It's ok, I'll live to see another day)

2010-09-13T17:23:00.000-06:00

Several years ago I read a story about a family whose SUV got stuck after going several miles on a unmaintained and snowed-in logging road on their way home from a Thanksgiving holiday vacation. It was tragic. The dad died and the mom and and little kids nearly starved to death because all they had was a little bottle of baby formula.

After reading about that I put together an emergency kit in case I get stuck somewhere (though I would probably have to leave my house for that to happen).

*** Disclaimer: I probably should not be allowed to watch TV or read the internet because my imagination gets carried away and I get obsessed with certain stories. Remember that med student that got stuck in a cave spelunking last year in Utah and was just left there because there wasn't a damn thing they could do? Never mind. Probably not. I get obsessed with stories like that and I lie in bed wondering what it would be like to be wedged between two rocks for days on end. I know I am weird like that. Don't even get me started on the doctor who got stuck in her boyfriend's chimney. I seriously can't stop thinking about that poor lady.

So anyhow, that is how I came up with my emergency-oh-hell-no-I-am-not-going-to-starve-or-lose-a-limb plan. I keep this backpack full of supplies in my Jeep. Now that cooler weather is approaching, I got it out today to do a little inventory and see how I can improve my odds of surviving.

We are going to assume in my near-death scenario that I have a coat as I always have a coat because I live in the mountains and winter lasts about 10 months a year. Oh --and I keep a pair of snow boots in there as well.

On to the inventory:

I think these are definitely necessity items for me-- hygiene/health-wise.

After revisiting my (now expired) food supply, I am thinking that I need to step it up. I just grabbed random things out of pantry when I put this together.

Funny story: My sister was over at my house when I was putting this kit together a few years ago. I told her my theory of only including high calorie foods like condensed milk (1200 for one can) in order to increase my survival time. She was cracking up and predicted the headlines in the news:

"WOMAN STRANDED 4 DAYS GAINS 10 POUNDS." hahahahaha.

I also threw in some emergency clothing:

Keep in mind, the goal is survival. I am not trying to win any fashion awards.

I also threw in some other things I deemed necessary in case my plight went on for more than a day or two.

(To be honest, I am not sure where I came up with some of these things).

On review, I can see that I need to add toothpaste/brush and some vaseline(?). What else?

QUESTIONS:

Do you have a emergency survival kit for your vehicle?
What would (do) you include that I forgot?
Should I throw in a jar of peanut butter (if so, should it be Jif or all-natural)?

Day Trippin

2010-09-12T14:49:00.005-06:00

Since the Broncos are on rain delay, I thought I would get my blog on.

Yesterday the frugal gods looked down on me and smiled.

Our day started off at the Frisco Depot for breakfast.

Here is our receipt.

Can you believe that? This was for two full breakfasts with coffee ( in a resort town).

Later, we decide to head to Denver for a "B-double E double R- U -N." That is a "BEER RUN " for those of you who don't listen to Outlaw Country. I can't really divulge all the details, but when my mother-in-law calls and lets me know that "The Eagle Has Landed," it is time for a Coor's Light rendezvous. YEE HAW!

We stop at the Conoco to get my mandatory road trip Diet Coke.

I am still trying to log calories.

Me: All these snacks are so fattening.

Clerk: What are you specifically looking for?

Matt: Chips that help you lose weight.

Hardy har-har.

SIDE NOTE: See this is where I have problems with that Bible story of Jesus feeding the 5,000. According to that story only one little boy in 5,000 people had a lunch. Jesus had to feed all those people with only a couple of fish and two loaves a bread. I am sorry, I don't buy it. Not one of those people had a fig or two in their pocket? I do not drive to Denver without a soda and a power bar and I have a cell phone, a Jeep, and there is a Carl's Jr., Burger King and McDonald's between here and there. Puh-lease.

Road trip conversation:

Me: Can you believe it has been 9 years since 9/11 happened?

Matt: It has been and I don't understand why everyone is making such a big deal about the mosque near ground zero. That is like making a big deal about having an Irish pub in England. They are not all members of the IRA.

LOL. Where does he come up with these things?

First stop: Arvada ARC. It is not the good ARC, but it will do. Among other things, I got this Yankee candle.

I really love this scent. $5.00 (they retail for $24.95 at Bed Bath and Beyond).

I also got these Adidas running shoes for $7.99.

Does it bother you to wear used shoes? Not me. Do you wear rental bowling shoes? Besides, I am sure whoever originally bought these had cute, unstinky feet.

After that, we all met over at my bros-in-law Dan and Eric's house. Their house and most of their furnishings are mid-century.

They just bought this Dick Van Dyke-ish chair. Cute, huh?

My mother and father- in law brought their dog Fritz. He can give Murphy a run for his money in the cute department.

"I will make you love me."

Later, Eric and I went to this really neat vintage store where I found an awesome beauty shop hair drying chair, complete with built- in ash tray. I wondered if Matt would mind if I spent $250.00 for that number. I wonder if he would mind if I smoked a half a pack menthol Kool's while drying my hair?

Just last week I was wishing I had one of those chairs. That is not a lie.

I forgot to take a picture, but it looked something like this.

Okay, on to the coolest part of my day. After the vintage store, Eric and I went to this garage sale that was ending and the guy was putting his stuff away. I bought two saw horses for Matt (for $5) and as the guy was making change, I noticed he had an incredible garden. I mumble, half to myself: "wow! that is an impressive garden !" Well what did the guy do next? He went in his house and got some grocery bags and had me start picking green beans, tomatoes, squash, edamame, peppers, cucumbers and beets! And he helped AND gave me cooking tips. How cool was that?

Here is just some of my bounty.

Oh, and my sweet mother-in-law gave me 2 bottles of wine!!!

She brought me my favorite wine (pictured above) and a new wine to try.

We made it back home and Matt watched three episodes of Parenthood with me. I love that show.

It was a wonderful day in spite of the fact that Osama Bin Laden is still on the loose and the US has crazy Koran burning Bible beaters.

THE END.

To see other thrifty finds, click here.

OMG! My life is better than yours!!!!

2010-09-10T12:26:00.008-06:00

You may or may not know that I quit Facebook several months ago. I do not miss it. At. All. Last week my mom, Mary, wanted to show me some pictures posted on her FB of her and my step-dad dancing (my mom is waaaay into country dancing), so she gave me her login info.

(just for fun, here is a picture of my mom and Eric dancing)

So for the first time in months, I got on Facebook (or as Matt calls it "Divorcebook").

Even though most of my mom's friends are weirdos from her church and I am less than interested in knowing what they are doing, curiosity got the better of me and I scrolled through the posts.

This little particular gem (accompanied by about a million pictures) caught my attention: (this was posted by a relative).

Missing Maui, 2 weeks in paradise was not enough. I can only post these because we are leaving for Paris, Monte Carlo & St. Tropez in a week so its not too depressing. :' (

Tell me: Is that normal behavior for a 40 year old woman? LOL. OMG! I am tagging her as an idiot. I hope she gets poked (in the eye).

************************************************************************

In other important world news, Kelley over at Kelley's Breakroom tagged me on her blog. Since I know you are dying to get to know more about me, I am playing along. Well sort of. I only feel like answering 2 questions.

What song reminds you of a childhood memory?

RUN DMC-- "Mary, Mary, why you buggin?"

Get it? That is my mom's name. HAHA and that is the ring tone for her on my cell phone. When she calls me, I let it ring for a while so I can do a litte dance.

In case you forgot or are too young to remember, check it out. Hilarious.

"We is aerobaciscing"

Oh, and there was "ITS TRICKY" by you guessed it RUN DMC. I love that song. Oh and who could forget "YOU BE ILLIN."

Damn they don't make good rap anymore.

One very vivid memory I have from high school is getting high as a kite with my friend Dana and lying on the floor in the dark listening to Thomas Dolby "ONE OF OUR SUBMARINES." (We still laugh about that 25 years later).

Trust me that song is much better if you are high. (for some reason I can't embed the video. Damn you Dolby).

UPDATE: Speaking of old skool rap, I had to include a favorite rap song from early college. One day I was watching this video and Chase was all "WHAT THE??? " It is awesome! I still know all the words : )

I really hope to find an occasion where I can revisit those dance moves.

Favorite Movie Quote?

That would be from the quotable and hilarious movie STRIPES.

Psycho: The name's Francis Soyer, but everybody calls me Psycho. Any of you guys call me Francis, and I'll kill you.
Leon: Ooooooh.
Psycho: You just made the list, buddy. And I don't like nobody touching my stuff. So just keep your meat-hooks off. If I catch any of you guys in my stuff, I'll kill you. Also, I don't like nobody touching me. Now, any of you homos touch me, and I'll kill you.
Sergeant Hulka: Lighten up, Francis.

I love to say "Lighten up Francis" when someone is wiggin on me. I also like to say "touch my stuff and I'll kill you." That was great to use on my siblings back in the day when I was listening to RUN DMC.

Side note: When I met Matt, at around our third date, he used the "lighten up Frances" line on someone in front of me. I knew it was True Love in the making!

I am easily amused

2010-09-08T11:46:00.008-06:00

Some things that have brought a smile to my face this past week.

1. The 33 trapped Chilean miners are revolting and are demanding wine, cigarettes and empanadas.

Why would I be such an ass as to laugh at trapped miners????

I only laugh because if I was trapped underground those are prolly the exact three things I would request.

Oh, and maybe some of those delicious Jack-in-the-Box tacos.

(which look nothing like this)

2. I went to the skate park with Matt over the holiday weekend.

I hung out with all the other skate ~~moms~~ wives.

It warms my heart to see my 45 year old husband being a kid : )

3. TLC has ran through all the hoarders of junk and babies and has a new show featuring a guy who hoards wives.

I cannot wait for this mess.

Wouldn't it be kick ass if one of the sister-wives was a midget with quintuplets and a heroin addiction???

I can dream.

4. I bought these stackable vintage ( 1970s looking?) coffee cups at the ARC thrift store in Denver.

I love em so much I kinda want to marry them. (sorry. I was in elementary school in the 70s)

I hope your world is giving you lots to laugh at.

Accidental Harajuku Girl

2010-09-03T08:48:00.001-06:00

Fall is in the air. As much as I want to deny it, the aspen are starting to change. Don't get me wrong, I love this time of year. Fall gives me sentimental feelings of love and home. Why is that?

On to my post!

I was stumbling around the internets the other week and I came across this mesmerizing site called Japanese Streets.

The site contains pictures of real Harajuku street fashion.

In case you are wondering what that means, here is the 411 from Wikipedia.

Harajuku is the common name for the area around Harajuku Station on the Yamanote Line in the Shibuya ward of Tokyo, Japan. Harajuku is also a fashion capital of the world, renowned for its unique street fashion. Many prominent designers and fashion ideas have sprung from Harajuku and incorporated themselves into other fashions throughout the world.

Here are some samples of some of the hip young girls featured.

Cool right? Well flash forward to earlier in the week. I work from home so I wear whatever I grab out of my closet and don't ever pay any attention to what it looks like. Now that the mornings are becoming chilly, I have to layer myself. On Tuesday I passed a mirror and saw my reflection. What did I see???????

Holy crap! An unintentional ensemble that looks like I stepped off the streets of Japan (in spite of the fact that I am probably 2 x the size of a Japanese girl).

HAHA! This was not staged. I often find myself dressed in crazy outfits and I will forget and go check my mail or Murphy will get out and I have to go look for him and I will inevitably run in to one of my neighbors. To make me seem like an even bigger whack job, since I was alone on this particular day, I thought about asking a neighbor to take a picture of my ensem. But I regained my senses and figured out how to use the self-timer on the camera. GO ME!

HAVE A GREAT WEEKEND!!

BYE-BYE BLOG BOOTIE

2010-08-31T10:33:00.003-06:00

This last week I have been AWOL from the blogosphere. I have a new internet obsession. And hopefully, it will help me lose my big blog ass. The one I have from sitting on my butt all day and talking smack over the netwaves.

You: WHAT YOU TALKIN BOUT, SEXY ?? I love you just the way you are.

Me: Of course you do, but that is because we are virtual friends and you don't have to watch my thighs jiggle.

See it goes like this. Matt really wants to go to Cozumel for two weeks this winter. Of course that sounds spectacular. Sign me up. I am ready.

Oh, helz no. I am not. If I dare to put on a bathing suit in a foreign country INTERPOL will surely issue a warrant for my arrest for all kinds of crimes against humanity. Seriously, this summer when I went to put on my fatty shorts, I could not get them buttoned. I wanted to cry. So I had this great plan. I would just take my dogs on a couple extra walks and that would solve all my problems. Surely that would cancel out the barrels of red wine and gallons of popcorn popped in coconut oil that I live for. Well guess what? That plan failed miserably and I actually got fatter! How did that happen??

I needed some serious intervention my friends. So I remembered this website http://www.livestrong.com/ that tracks calories and what-not. Well anyway, it has gotten so much easier to use and it has become my new obsession. I have to share it with you.

oh and guess what peeps? IT IS FREE!!! My favorite.

First the boring part:

You can set your calorie goals (or it will set it for you based on your stats). I set mine at the lowest possible (to keep me from fainting) because I am impatient. Then you start tracking.

The site knows the contents of almost every food product imaginable.

It keeps track of the nutritional breakdown.

And makes it easy to see exactly where you are at any given moment.

And you can see how you are doing historically.

Now, on to the fun part. The part that makes me feel like I am starring in my very own video game. It uses google maps for the coolest thing ever.

Below, I have mapped out my favorite dog walk from my house that I do on a regular basis. It the EXACT route even through the woods! The little green numbers are mile markers. I never knew how far it was. I always thought it was 5 miles. It is not.

I have dubbed this route the "super looper" and have saved it as one of my regular routes. The site breaks the super looper down for me.

How cool is that? BTW, it takes me so long because Murphy has to stop and pee on every third tree that we pass.

It even keep track of my elevation.

Here is my big bike ride on Sunday (in map view) which gave me a big calorie deficit. "Calorie deficit" is a new concept for me : ) Yes, that is really a 20 mile marker.

Here is another view of the end of the same route.

And another.

I can't get enough! Especially when I see stats like this.

Of course everyday is not a 1200 burner.

But, I am happy with something like this.

You should check it out. It is super easy to use.

That's all for now. I will keep you posted on my results.

Sadly, this was my best angle.

I am off to do some work and a workout and maybe a (tiny) bit of blog reading.

Let me research that

2010-08-27T11:42:00.006-06:00

Date: August 27, 2010
To: Citizens of the United States of America
From: Lex Loci Lori
Re: Collective Federal Restraining Order
____________________________________________

Maybe I spend to much time online looking at the wrong news sources (popeater, dlisted, ohnotheydidn't, tmz and newser ) but I am constantly bombarded by a few idiots that seriously make me want to become a cutter.

I got to thinking that maybe I can file a petition in court for a collective federal restraining order to keep these fools out of the public eye. Sure there are real legal issues that I can research and actually get paid, but I consider this a very important public service. Seriously. Consider this pro bono legal research. I am doing this for the good of America, people!

On to my argument:

1. The entire Lohan family needs to be restrained from the entire air and web waves.

Let's start with Papa Lohan.

I read this morning that he wants to open a rehab. What??? Look, I will make it real easy Michael. I promise to quit drinking if you promise to quit showing me your damn nipples.Quid pro quo.

Mama Lohan is just as bad and needs to be stopped. I am certain you all saw the crap come flying out of her mouth in her interview with Matt Lauer.

If not, here you go.

Exhibit "B"

I don't even have to get into discussing the kids. ORDER GRANTED!!

2. Kate Gosselin is inflicting mental illness on Amercia. She is causing me to become a compulsive hand washer to try to rid myself of skank.

For my evidence, I submit the following:

The outfit she chose to wear to take her kids ~~pole dancing~~ back to school shopping.

Exhibit "A"

" Exhibit B"

Seriously, WTF?? Kate, honey, someday you will look back on these photos and cringe the way I did. You can't undo it dear, but you can stop it from happening again.

ORDER GRANTED!

3. And finally, for the high crime of making the United States of America collectively dumber every single time we are exposed to them, I propose that we try for treason and deport the following 3 ring circus clowns.

I don't want any of you to dance with the stars, become my queen or show me your private bits. Please just go away and leave us all alone.

Respectfully submitted,

Summer is Slipping Away

2010-08-23T11:39:00.005-06:00

Summer is winding down here in Summit County. Today is the first day of school already (not that I have school age kids). We got a lot of play packed into this past weekend and tried to enjoy what we have left of the season.

We started out the weekend by going out to dinner for our anniversary Friday night --- even though there was a band playing and people were getting down, after we ate, we promptly came back home, put on sweats and watched TV. Yes, we are super exciting! Try not to be too jealous.

Saturday, we took one of our favorite trails down to the lake. Except, most of the trail is now a road. A forest service road for logging.

Our area has been hit hard by a pine beetle infestation. The beetles are actually killing trees all across North America. There are hundreds of thousands of acres of dead trees. We have lost 40 in our yard in the last three years.

This handsome fellow does not mind the dead trees, he knows he is almost at the lake.

Murph will not actually get in the lake as the waves scare him.

This is more his speed : ) That is okay by me as the water is so dang cold that hypothermia sets in at 3 minutes. No bodies are even allowed in the water anyway.

Isn't Callie adorable? She is 13.

No, really she is.

These two are quite possibly the most spoiled dogs ever.

Later that evening, we went to a concert and had a picnic at the lake. It got downright chilly when the sun went down.

Since this blog post is turning into a weekend recap, I have to mention that earlier that morning I went to two garage sales and had some decent luck.

I got this cute runner and matching place mats for $2. They were brand new.

Cute, no?

I also bought this little chest for $5. I forgot to take a "before" picture, but Matt took this one of me sanding on Sunday morning.

It is real wood, but it is old and was beat to hell. I must have sanded for a solid 2 hours. Oh, and yes, I usually look this glamorous around the house. I can't help it. Don't hate me.

Here is an after shot (of the dresser, not of me).

I think it turned out pretty cute.

One last weekend highlight: My sister in law, who I will just call "Mo" invited me to go with her to a bike race in Palisades, Colorado called the "Tour de Vinyard" on September 18. Did you know we have some awesome vineyards in the western part of Colorado? Well, we do, and you know if something has the word "vineyard" in it, I am on board. Sign me up! The race is 25 miles long. Mo convinces me that we should do an 18 mile ride to Frisco and back to "train."

This is Mo at about mile 6.

Of course we had to train for the wine drinking part as well, so we made a little diversion to the Tiki Bar.

Mo is a translator for the school district, so today it is back to work for her.

Bye-Bye Summer.

We will miss you.

Sometimes you get lucky.

2010-08-19T09:39:00.000-06:00

Tomorrow is my anniversary. Matt and I were married on August 20, 2004 in Sin City.

The King officiated, of course.

Reflecting on that time, I'll never forget that Nicky Hilton was married in Las Vegas the very same week as me (which was during the height of all the Hilton Sister Hysteria).

That marriage lasted a whole 3 months.
We were all shocked by the sudden split, of course.

Which got me thinking, Who else got married in 2004 and are they still married?

Tiger and Elin. (We all know how that worked out).

(no more)

Britney and K-Fed (I was always rooting for those two).

(no more)

Rosie and Kelli (uh, nice shoes?)

(no more)

Jello and Scarecrow (I guess the third times is a charm for her-- they are still married).

Tory and that guy she cheated on.

(no more)

Salman Rushdie and Padma Lakshmi (I had no idea these two were ever married).

(no more)

Shanna Moakler and Travis Barker

(no more-- this week)

Star Jones and Al Reynolds.

(no more)

And, finally for one more still-married couple,

Diane Lane and Josh Brolin

I am thinking that next year for our lucky 7th anniversary we should roll the dice and head back to Vegas! Our odds are looking good : )